AAML Alphabet Challenge
by anjumstar
Summary: The classic alphabet challenge. A oneshot for a randomly generated (or requested) word corresponding to every letter of the alphabet, each with a delicious serving of AAML. There will undoubtedly with a smattering of other Ships on the side. Requests are welcome! L is for Literature
1. Addiction

**Summary:** A is for Addiction

**Pairing:** Pokéshipping; Ash/Misty

**Rating:** K

**Genre:** Romance/Humor

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

* * *

**Addiction**

Misty was nothing if not true to her word.

Today, Ash found himself sitting in an uncomfortable plastic seat, the kind that he hadn't had to deal with since grade school. This one was missing the foot off of one of the corners, so Ash spent his time rocking from side to side while looking around room, subtly eyeing all the others seated in the "inviting" circle in the room. Most people were watching the person currently speaking and giving looks of support as he opened up about his life. Everyone looked at ease and not one bit as anxious as Ash felt.

Ash was dreading his turn. He hated talking about feelings with people and he honestly had no idea what to say. He didn't feel like he had a problem. He was only here because Misty had forced him. Wasn't there a rule or something that said that people could only be at these things of their own free will? As Ash pondered that question, it finally came to be his turn, and with all eyes on him, and an elbow to the ribs by Misty, Ash stood up.

"Hello, my name is Ash," Ash mumbled into his shirt as he avoided eye contact with all others in the room.

Resounding back to him was a dull chorus of, "Hi, Ash."

His mouth was dry. As much as he loved being the center of attention, Ash had never been good at the public speaking. He usually ended up saying something dumb that Misty would then make fun of him for later. So he said the only thing that he could think to say: "And I'm addicted to Pokémon Battling."

Through the pounding sound of blood rushing to the tips of his ears, Ash heard man asked if he had anything to share with the group. Seeing Ash's hesitation, Misty reached out to grab his hand and soothingly rubbed circles into the back of it. She gave him an encouraging look, urging him on.

His mouth opened and a breath of air came out with a small creak of his vocal folds, but no words. He didn't have anything to say. "Er, pass," Ash said, quickly, pointedly ignoring Misty's sudden frown.

Misty visibly deflated as Ash sat back down next to her. When the next person stood up to talk, Misty snatched her hand away from Ash and crossed her arms in front of her, throwing a glare his direction.

* * *

"You know," Ash began pleasantly as they began walking back to the car, "I think that you were right. That meeting really wasn't so bad and now that I've went through it, I feel like I've really grown as a person and don't need to ever go again."

Misty threw Ash a less-than-amused look. "Grown as a person, my ass," she muttered.

Ash kept on smiling good-naturedly. "Aw, Mist, it's not like you really believe that an addiction to Battling is a real thing, do you?"

Misty turned sharply to look at him. "Ash, you battled to the point where Pikachu could hardly breathe! We had to spend the whole day in the Pokémon Center, remember? Clearly you have a problem, and I couldn't think of any other solution besides peer pressure to get you to shape up."

From its perch on Ash's shoulder, Pikachu gave a small "Cha" of affirmation.

At that point, they had reached the car and Misty and Ash were standing on their respective sides of the sedan. Misty looked at him over the top and raised her eyebrows and widened her eyes as she glanced between the boy and the electric mouse as if to say, "See? Even the Pokémon agrees," before opening the door and plopping herself down in the passenger seat, taking Pikachu in her lap. Immediately, the car felt stuffy with tension, so as soon as Ash started the engine, he rolled down the windows. As the car started moving, Pikachu scooted closer to the window, ear's perking up excitedly and nose twitching at the interesting scents hitting it.

It really was a nice day. The air was warm, and the breeze passing through the open windows felt very inviting and refreshing. Ash did his best to focus on that and the road ahead of him, appreciating the soothing silence as he ignored the seething redhead beside him.

The silence, of course, wouldn't last.

"I know that you care about your Pokémon more than anything, but it's really starting to seem like you just can't control yourself. One of these days you're really going to hurt them or someone else's Pokémon."

Ash rolled his eyes and opened his mouth as if to speak, but Misty cut him off, continuing her spiel. "That's why I made you go to the meeting. But you obviously didn't make any progress in there," she said bitterly.

Ash gave a small chuckle. "Oh, come on, Mist. Did you really think that an AA meeting was the best place for me to recover from a 'Battling addiction?'" he asked, taking one hand off the wheel in order to make quotation marks, emphasizing his point.

Misty sighed again and contented herself with petting Pikachu for the rest of the trip, only speaking again to whisper under her breath, "I just don't know what else to do."

* * *

The next day, Ash came home from a hard day of training to be greeted by the overwhelming scent of chocolate, sugar, and flour. The entire house smelled of it and Ash inhaled deeply, reveling in the mouth-watering aroma. It was very rare that there was a scent of food in the house that didn't make Ash want to hurl, so he made sure to fully drink in each inhale, breathing to the point where it almost felt like he was hyperventilating.

His nose guided him into the kitchen and he soon found himself face to face with heaps of cookies and a smiling Misty. In her hands she was holding a platter of particularly scrumptious looking ones, so Ash grabbed two, one for each hand. He was just about to shove the first one in his mouth before he reminded himself of a question he always had to ask before he ate something of Misty's. "Did you make these?"

Letting out a sweet giggle, Misty replied, "No," and pointed to the counter where a number of yellow Pillsbury wrappers lay. Mollified by the fact that what he was eat was sure to taste good, he placed a whole cookie in his mouth, only chewing a few times before taking a bite out of the second one. Ash savored the sweet taste before he had a thought that made him pause mid-chew. He and Misty were fighting and she made him cookies? There was no scenario in his mind in which that made sense and he immediately went on the defensive.

"Hey, Mist," Ash began cautiously, spitting out a few crumbs in the process, "why did you make cookies?"

Misty kept an unfaltering, sickly-sweet smile plastered on her face and said, "Well, I was wracking my brain all day, trying to come up with something that would keep you from being a dumbass when you're battling and I couldn't come up with anything. I mean, no one's ever been able to stop you from being a dumbass in the past, so what made me think that I could handle such a daunting task?"

Since Ash couldn't speak, mouth still being filled with cookie, he sent what turned out to be a very amusing glare Misty's way. She brushed it off and continued, "Then I started to think of who had always done the best job of that in the past and it hit me. Your mother."

Ash began to choke at that line on a small bit of cookie that he inhaled and Misty calmly patted his back a few times, carrying on with her story. "I have to say, she was none too pleased with the way that you've been treating your Pokémon, even though I stressed that it had been merely accidental, so she gave me the best trick she had."

It was at that point that Misty gestured to the mountains of cookies covering the kitchen. She then turned back to Ash. "Food. She explained to me that you've always been like a little Growlithe puppy: good instincts, loyal, playful, cognitively undeveloped, and always counted on to come running at the sound of a treat.

"So I decided to make an investment in all these cookies as a reward system in order to get you to evolve from the little puppy, Growlithe, into a majestic Arcanine," Misty said, petting Ash's unruly hair ironically. "If you do anything stupid, no more cookies—I'll donate them all. But, if you don't do anything stupid, you'll continue to get a cookie every day."

Ash had since put a few more cookies into his mouth and was still unable to speak without risking spewing partially chewed cookie all over the place. So, he settled for responding to Misty's speech by sticking his tongue out at her. Misty grimaced at the little bits of cookie and chocolate and sighed.

"But for now you're definitely still a Growlithe."

* * *

**A/N:** Hey, you! Yeah, you right there, come over and read this author's note. Okay, I know that this isn't my best writing ever, but I don't care. I'm using these little alphabet challenges to practice writin, because I realized that I'm not that great and I really need to practice. The only way to do that effectively is to publish what I write and get feedback. So, I know these aren't masterpieces, but I'm really just using them to work out my writing muscles and try strange story ideas. I mean, I love reading a chapter that has a word that could go a really obvious direction but then the author does something completely unexpected with it.

Thank you so much for reading!


	2. Beard

**Summary**: B is for Beard. Look it up on Urban Dictionary.

**Pairing**: Pokéshipping; Ash/Misty. Slight HandymanShipping; Tracey/Daisy plus good ol' fashion Tracey-bashing. And sorry, but this story is anti-RocketShipping; James/Jessie. Nothing personal; this was just the only way to get this idea to work.

**Rating: **K**  
**

**Genre:** Romance/Humor

**Disclaimer**: I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

* * *

**Beard**

Misty sighed, and dropped her pen, taking a moment to shake out her right hand. She must have scribbled her name a thousand times at this point, and she was beginning to develop a cramp in the muscles in her hand. It was starting to make it very hard to even make the few loops that she passed off as a signature.

Misty's mind was overcome with internal debate. Even though she knew that someone always had to be at the front desk, she felt like she would go crazy if she had to sit there another minute. She had already thought of a million reasons to get up, but she shot every one of them down with the reminder that she had the self-control to stay seated. If a challenger came in and she wasn't seated at the front, they would likely just leave, assuming she wasn't available for battle. But the swivel chair she was perched on was beginning to itch on the back of her thighs and she reasoned that maybe it would be okay to just leave for a moment to switch into some pants. She had just talked herself into it and was moving to stand up when she heard the sound of a bell tinkling. Misty smiled. A challenger was here—that was definitely a good enough reason to finally get up.

The person that entered, though, wasn't the typical bright-eyed and bushy-tailed little ten-year-old. Even though Misty had already stood, she had to look up in order to meet the gaze of what was clearly not a boy, but a man, in front of her. She looked at his bright blue, almost periwinkle, hair and cocked her head in confusion. That hair certainly looked familiar…

Then she gasped, hand flying to her mouth. "James?"

"Hello, Misty," James said. He was looking down at the floor and rubbing the back of his neck nervously, subtly shuffling his feet on the blue tile.

Years of habit put Misty immediately on the offensive. Sure, Misty knew that Team Rocket had disbanded long ago, but she didn't know what to expect out of one of the people that had terrorized her childhood. Or at least had tried to. "What do you want?"

The shuffling continued, and James still refused to make eye contact. "Uh, I was wondering if, uh…" he stuttered, trailing off weakly.

"Spit it out," Misty said, rolling her eyes at the man in front of her.

At Misty's harsh tone, James stood up straighter, no longer looking at the floor, but still avoiding contact with her. "Right, erm, I wanted to know if you could, uh, do me a favor," he stammered.

Misty narrowed her eyes at him. "What kind of favor?"

"I was wondering if you could go out with me—"

"What‽" Misty shrieked, her eyebrows raising up so high in shock they were practically in her hair. "Why the he—"

"No, no, no!" James rushed out, putting his hands out in front of him as if to protect himself from the fiery redhead. "That's not what I meant to say! I was wondering if you would _pretend_ to go out with me."

Misty relaxed, her heart rate returning to normal. "Oh thank God. You really scared the sh—" she suddenly stopped short, her brows furrowing in confusion again. "Wait, I thought that you were gay"

"I _am_. But nobody knows and I'm not ready for them to," James said, his face turning red.

Misty put her hand over her mouth to cover a snort. "Sure, nobody knows."

"Exactly. That's why I need for you to go out with me."

"Hold on," Misty said, deciding to humor James. She would ponder the hilarity of the situation later when she was bored with paperwork again. "So you're saying you want me to be your beard?"

James shrugged his shoulders and looked at Misty desperately. "Well, yeah, I guess."

Misty arched an eyebrow at James. "So, what's in it for me?"

"Simple," James said, looking confident for the first time in the entire encounter. "No one finds out that I'm gay and no one finds out about your crush on Ash."

Misty's eyes widened and her spine went perfectly erect. She thrust her hand out. "Deal."

* * *

Misty and James had been masquerading as a couple for almost a month and to say that it surprised everyone was an understatement. Misty's sisters in particular nearly threw a fit over the fact that they hadn't gotten he chance to set Misty up with a boy before she found one herself.

Misty decided to forget about the little comment that they made about how they hadn't expected there to be any hurry.

The experience honestly hadn't been as horrific as she had thought it would be. Her 'dates' with James had actually been pretty fun, and she got a few free dinners out of it. Even though they weren't actually dating, he always offered to pay, since the whole thing had been his idea. He liked to call it an investment.

Even though Misty felt bad about lying to everyone, she couldn't help but be pleased with the outcome. She had always been worried about Ash finding out about her little crush on him and now that she was pretending to be with James, it was a complete non-issue. She felt so much more relaxed whenever she spoke of him. It no longer sounded like she was pining pathetically after a childhood crush, but just talking about an old friend.

Then there was Ash himself. He had called her as soon as he found out, having to hear from her to make sure that it was actually true. She confirmed it and the incredulity on his face was wild. "Really?" he asked. "James? No offense, but he doesn't really seem like your type."

Luckily, at that point, Misty had been lying about her relationship for a while, so it wasn't as hard to lie to her best friend as she had been afraid it might. "Yeah, I didn't think so either, but when he's away from Jessie, he's actually really sweet."

Ash narrowed his eyes at her from across the video phone. "Okay," he said slowly, looking at her face as if searching for any hints of a lie. He must not have saw any, as he let it be. "Then I wish nothing but the best for you two." With that, he hung up.

Misty couldn't help the slight sting that she felt at Ash's indifference to her having a boyfriend. Especially since her boyfriend was one of Ash's old enemies. She tossed that aside and figured that she could only really expect a response from Ash if she dated Gary. She shivered at the idea.

Misty retold this encounter to James the next time they had dinner together and couldn't help it when another shudder went down her spine. "Ooh," she said, recovering from the sensation. "I guess that means that I'm not ever supposed to be with Gary."

"I finally got up the courage to tell Jessie that I'm gay," James blurted out.

"What?" Misty asked, confused at James' sudden conversational diversion.

James repeated himself, adding, "She's the closest person in the world to me; I figured I should tell her first."

"Wow," Misty said, truly surprised at James' courage. "What did she say?"

"She laughed at me," James said bluntly, a bashful smile on his face. "She told me that I was an idiot and everyone already knew."

Misty smiled. "Well, she's kind of right."

James nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah. She pointed out that you obviously knew the whole time, and since I didn't tell you, I didn't need to tell anyone else for them to already know."

A thought occurred to Misty. "So does that mean that we're 'breaking up?'"

James chuckled. "I guess so."

Misty smiled along for a moment, but then her face immediately fell to a frown. "Wait, but what about you being my, er, 'Ash-beard?'" she asked.

James continued laughing, but this time it was directed at her. "Open your eyes, honey," James said. "You think everyone knows about _me_?"

Since they had already paid for their meal, James threw down a few more bills as a tip and left Misty with her thoughts. She sat there for a minute, stewing over his words before she exclaimed. "Everyone knows about me?"

A waiter gave her the evil eye and Misty hunched in her seat, cheeks turning red.

"Oops."

* * *

Misty returned to the Gym still very confused. She had tried so hard for so long to keep her feelings for Ash a secret. She could have sworn that the only people that knew were Brock—because she told him late one night when she was feeling particularly lonely—and James. The idea that everyone already knew terrified her.

When she walked into the Gym, Daisy, who had been sitting at the front desk, immediately ambushed her.

"Oh, little sister, what's wrong? I can, like, see it all over your face. Did something happen? It was that James boy, wasn't it? Was he pressuring you? Not that he really looked like he had it in him…Gosh, I always told you not to date someone older than you!"

"Whoa," Misty exclaimed, pushing her smothering sister off of her. "It doesn't have anything to do with James." Misty paused, reconsidering that statement. "Well, I guess it kind of has to do with him. We're not going out anymore."

Daisy gasped, overly-dramatic shock covering her face. "Oh, no. Come here." Daisy immediately pulled Misty back in and started hugging her and smoothing her hair, murmuring about how it was going to be alright.

"We were never really going out!" Misty practically shouted, again pushing herself away from her older sister's embrace. "He's gay!"

"Oh thank God," Daisy said, wiping her brow in phony relief. "That boy seemed queerer than an Onix in the swimming pool."

"Like you can say anything," Misty jested. "You're dating Tracy."

Daisy looked like she had swallowed a bug. She then shook her head, as if trying to knock the thought out of her mind. "Anyway, I actually was waiting for you to come home—you have a visitor."

Misty turned her head in confusion. A visitor? Suddenly her eyes met those of a certain disheveled looking Pokémon Trainer. "Ash?" Misty squeaked out.

Ash approached her. "You were never really dating James?"

"What are you doing here?" Misty asked, ignoring his question.

"Uh," Ash started slowly, "I guess I didn't really think about it. After we talked on the phone I just found myself flying here."

"Really?" Misty asked shyly. "Why?"

By that point, Daisy had disappeared from the lobby, leaving Ash and Misty alone and slowly approaching each other.

Ash was playing with the hem of his fingerless gloves, focusing on anything other than Misty's face. "I don't know. I guess I just didn't really like the idea of you getting a boyfriend without me knowing."

"So you just impulsively decided to drop everything and come see me?" Misty asked, trying to piece together Ash's fragmented story.

"Is that weird?"

Misty smiled at the boy in front of her. At this point, there was only about a foot between the two of them, so Misty reached out to take Ash's hands in hers. "It depends. Were you coming here because you were mad at me for not telling you, or because you were jealous?"

All of a sudden, Ash couldn't look at anything except for Misty's hands in his. He stared at them for a while without saying anything. Finally he mumbled, "Maybe some of both."

A grin started growing on Misty's face. "And why were you jealous?"

Ash sighed. "I didn't want you to be dating anyone," he admitted.

Misty was all out beaming at this point. "Why was that?"

Ash was about to answer, but then her frowned, looking at Misty. "Hey, why are you asking all the questions? How about this: why did you pretend to date James?" Ash wrinkled his nose as he said James' name, making no effort to hide his disgust.

"Uh…er…" Now it was Misty's turn to stammer. She couldn't tell him the truth, could she? That had been the whole point of this ordeal in the first place. _Everyone knows about me_. Misty's eyes widened. She didn't have anything to hide. She was as out as James was. "I pretended to go out with James because he didn't want anyone to know he was gay and…"

Ash raised his eyebrows at Misty, encouraging her on.

She took a deep breath in and looked Ash in the eyes, still holding onto his hands. "And…uh…I-didn't-want-anyone-to-know-that-I-liked-you-but-it-turned-out-everyone-but-you-already-knew," she rushed out all at once. She nervously searched his gaze, looking for a sign of any emotion whatsoever. "Ash?"

Her fears were assuaged as she suddenly felt Ash give her a small peck on the lips, grinning as he pulled back. "I knew too."

Misty's jaw dropped. "You knew?" she gasped.

"Brock told me."

Misty dropped Ash's hands like they were scorching her and immediately balled her own into fists. Ash leapt back, making sure that he wouldn't accidently get hit. Misty started stomping to the video phone, each step practically making the walls shake. Upon reaching it, she started pounding the familiar numbers, his face appearing only a few moments later. Ash was crouched beside the desk, fingers in his ears for what was sure to come next.

"YOU BASTARD!"

* * *

**A/N**: In all honesty, I didn't even plan this story out. I got the word 'beard' and an idea started to take shape. I just let the dialogue do it's thing, so I'm not sure at all that this is a good story. I hope if nothing else the idea alone was amusing to you!


	3. Curse

**Summary**: C is for Curse. This story didn't exactly end up super explicitly working with the word, but ah well. Basically, the curse is the the Red or Blue Orb bonding with a living creature in this story.

**Spoilers**: It is kind of related to episodes _Gaining Groudon_ and _The Scuffle of Legends_. In an AU sort of way.

**Pairing**: Pokéshipping; Ash/Misty.

**Rating:** T for violence.

**Genre: **Action/Romance

**Disclaimer**: I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

* * *

**Curse**

Ash never had been good at following instructions.

He couldn't see anything. The rain was coming down in sheets, making the entire world gray and uneven, like a static-filled television screen. That was when he could even keep his eyes open. The wind was almost as bad as the rain itself, blowing water droplets sideways, directly into his eyes.

Pikachu wasn't fairing any better. Its fur was dripping almost as much as the clouds were, and it took every ounce of its strength to keep from being blown off of Ash's shoulder. Even with its heightened senses, it couldn't hear or see anything over the howling storm.

"Misty!" Ash called out, his voice immediately becoming lost in wind. He put his hand over his eyes in a vain attempt to see more than a foot in front of him, but couldn't see even a flash of Misty's red hair. "Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "I see nothing."

It wasn't even a hyperbole. They were just lucky that every step Ash took forward they remained on land, never accidently stepping off the boardwalk and into the sea beside them. Realizing that that fact was probably entirely based on luck, Ash looked out into the direction that he guessed the ocean was in and gazed out. Suddenly, Ash saw a dark spot in the distance. He blinked rapidly, assuming that it was the rainwater pouring down his face making him see things. Then he looked again, and the dark spot had grown enormously.

"_Pikachupi_!"

Ash shot a confused look at Pikachu. "Pikachu, that's not Misty." He then turned back forward to find himself face to face with the biggest creature he'd ever seen. And at the top of the shadow Ash could barely make out a shimmer of red. Could it be?

"Misty!" he called out again, this time cupping his hands up towards the red speck and praying that the sound would make it up to her.

He heard no response and for a moment and figured that he must have been wrong. But then, all of a sudden, the rain stopped. Not everywhere, but like a pinpoint, right over him and Pikachu. The pinpoint then expanded gradually until it encompassed the shadow as well, removing its veil. There before Ash was Kyogre. And right there, perched on the top of its massive head, sat Misty.

With eyes glowing blue.

* * *

_Earlier…_

The instructions of the mission were clear. Enter the Team Aqua headquarters, free Kyogre, destroy the Red Orb, and leave quickly—all by any means necessary. Make sure not to get captured and not to touch the Red Orb with your bare skin for longer than necessary.

Ash and Misty had split up upon entering the compound. They figured that if they did so, they would cover more ground and could find Kyogre's holding room quicker.

Presently, Ash was standing flush against a wall, Pikachu on his shoulder, and neither daring to even breathe as he slowly poked his head around the corner. Unfortunately at this point, he was deep into the Team Aqua complex, where many members were milling about. This hallway was a long, central one, so it was only a matter of time before some unsuspecting Team Aqua member turned the corner. He darted his eyes in both directions, quickly scanning for any Grunts wandering the hallway. The coast was clear. He let a breath out and moved stealthily through the corridor, trying to make good time whilst remaining undetected.

Then the predicted Grunt came around. "Hey! You don't belong here!" the Grunt called out.

He began running towards Ash, reaching into the pocket of his baggy Team Aqua uniform, probably fumbling around for either a weapon or Pokémon. Ash didn't hesitate before beginning to sprint head on toward him. The Grunt, on the other hand, froze at this move, confusion showing starkly on his face as Ash quickly approached. Upon reaching him, Ash put his hands square on the Grunt's shoulders and vaulted straight up in the air. He came down with his heel directly on the Grunt's spine, knocking him to the floor with a sickening crunch.

Ash didn't even pause to look back, continuing his silent trek deeper into the base.

That had obviously been an entry-level Grunt. Even though Ash had been sneaking around the base for hours, it seemed as though this part of the base didn't yield much protection.  
He must not be even close to where Team Aqua was holding Kyogre and the Red Orb. It would be when the Grunts started putting up a fight that Ash would know that he was closing in on their destination. He just hoped that Misty was closer than he was.

Unfortunately, it was turning out to take more time than he had thought. Time that he didn't have to spare. Now that he had left a Grunt lying on the ground, he could definitely expect Team Aqua members to come looking for his head, guns blazing. So he upped the pace further, only leaving a few more Grunts in his wake. As predicted, the enemies began struggling more, putting up a little more of a fight, though ultimately still not offering any sort of a real challenge for Ash.

Then he saw it. A door slightly different than the rest. This one was made of heavy metal and looked reinforced to the extreme: perfect for the holding room of a dangerously powerful Legendary.

Now all he had to do was destroy the door. Ash released his Quilava, who immediately let out a thick tongue of fire on the door. The first layer of metal began melting, caving a small hole into the door. Obviously the door had been made in order to keep a Water Pokémon contained, and not fireproofed at all. When the fire finally burned all the way through and Ash was able to see a slight bit to the other side, the door swung open.

Ash's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He hadn't been expecting that. His body immediately snapped into the defensive, Pikachu arched its spine, and Quilava's Fire Attack immediately flickered out. There in front of him was definitely not a Grunt. This man's outfit was different from typical Grunt garb. He was still wearing the Team Aqua bandana, but his clothes were all black. And behind this man's hulking form Ash could barely make out the biggest cage that he'd ever seen and what looked like a few massive blue ribbons—Kyogre's tail.

"Archie," Ash growled.

"Took you long enough."

Archie's voice was deep and gravely, reverberating to Ash's very bones. Instead of backing down, Ash stood up straighter in a vain effort to match the man's tall, bulky frame. "What do you mean?" he asked, not letting the cryptic comment shake him up.

Archie let out a low rumble of a laugh, a wide grin spreading on his face, revealing a few missing teeth. "Oh, just that your friend showed up quite a while ago."

With that, Archie shifted to the side, reaching for a remote and aiming it at a large screen hanging in the room. The screen flickered on, revealing a black and white image of Misty gagged and tied to a chair, struggling with the knots keeping her down.

Menacing grin still on his face, Archie clicked the screen off and turned back to Ash. "So, if you don't want anything to happen to your little friend, I suggest that you don't do anything—"

Archie didn't even get to finish his warning before Ash punched him square in that taunting mouth, while simultaneously bringing his knee sharply into the man's gut. He stumbled back a pace, bent over and clutching his face. He threw Ash a murderous look and lunged at him, clearly intending to throw his considerable weight around. Ash planted himself and swept his elbow across Archie's face, hearing a crack when it came into contact with his nose. He threw one more punch to his jaw and when Archie seemed to be teetering on the edge of consciousness, he threw Pikachu a look and the mouse pounced, attaching itself to the man's front and let out an Electric Attack, leaving the man on the ground with a heavy _thud_.

Ash jumped over Archie's body and ran to the cage taking up the majority of the room and saw Kyogre sleeping soundly. Team Aqua had probably sedated it upon capture—who knew how long it had been out for. Ash gestured to Quilava to start working on the metal bars of the cage. Ash guessed that this room had to be one of the outside rooms in the complex; Kyogre would have needed to have been dragged into this room from the ocean. He figured that if it had been taken in any sort of capturing device, it would still be in it. He scanned the room for any sort of latch on the wall, possibly opening it to the outside world and saw nothing until his eyes stopped on an electronic code box, similar to the call boxes outside apartments.

Knowing that he wouldn't be able to figure out the code, Ash would have to try another method to get the box to work. He looked over to Quilava who was still trying to melt the bars, but was making no progress. Apparently Team Aqua had reinforced the cage more than they had the door. Ash called Quilava off of the bars and brought it over to the code box. He picked it up and held it at face level to the box. Knowing just what to do, Quilava released a small breath of flame on the face of the box, just enough to melt the keys off, but not enough to scorch the wires just behind. Recalling Quilava back to its 'Ball, Ash then ordered Pikachu to give a light shock to box. He hoped that the jolt would mimic the electronic response of imputing the right password.

A soft click came from the other side of the room. Ash and Pikachu turned to look at the far wall as it started rising to the ceiling like a garage door.

But then Ash saw something that he hadn't noticed before. Kyogre was awake. A few stray sparks of electricity were crackling along its body and it was thrashing weakly in the water in its enclosure. Immediately, Ash turned to glare at Pikachu, who threw Ash a timid look that said, "Whoops."

Ash shook his head. It didn't matter. Kyogre was freed and if it was awake, that meant that it likely wouldn't get recaptured. Mission accomplished.

Now to find Misty.

* * *

Ash stared into Misty's glowing, soulless eyes, dread mounting within him. A familiar pattern was pulsing ice blue on Misty's skin like sinister blood coursing through her veins.

"Misty?"

She made no sign that she recognized that he had spoken to her. She just stared at him, unblinking. Suddenly, her eyes became even brighter and the red lines on Kyogre's body glowed in tandem. Kyogre reared back and fired a rapid stream of water at the boardwalk, causing Ash to fly backwards. Ash shielded his eyes as splinters of wood bombarded him like shrapnel, only to be washed away by the heavy rain he had flown into.

"Misty, stop it!"

His words went unheard as Kyogre fired another blast of water in his direction, tossing him and Pikachu into the water. Pikachu's cheeks sparked and before Ash could stop it, Pikachu released a Thunderbolt at the rampaging Legendary. Ash screamed as the electric current shocked his soaked body. He looked up when he heard the same scream coming from above him. Misty and Kyogre both writhed in pain as the strong Electric Attack pulsed through their bodies, strengthened by the conductive water.

It stung Ash to see Misty in such pain, but he had to swallow it when he saw the expression that followed. Misty grit her teeth and turned a look of total rage towards him. Kyogre then used Mudslide, enough that Ash and Pikachu found themselves no longer treading water, but sitting in a mound of mud, ensuring that Pikachu couldn't use any more Electric Attacks.

At that moment, Archie came rushing out of the compound with a number of Team Aqua members behind him, a black eye already forming on his face. "You!" he yelled, anger radiating from his face. "You jackass!"

Ash whipped his head around from Misty to Archie, muttering, "Oh, no," under his breath.

Archie held an enlarged PokéBall in his hand and threw it in Ash's direction. "Go, Mightyena!"

Ash looked at Pikachu who was slopping mud off of his electric sacks. That wouldn't work. He reached to his 'Belt for a fresh Pokémon. "Go, Noctowl!"

Noctowl burst from the PokéBall with a shimmer of light and was instantly blown down with the wind, narrowly missing the mud. Regaining its flight, Noctowl flew towards the Mightyena and unleashed a Psybeam on the Dark Type Pokémon.

Ash trusted Noctowl to be able to keep the already fading Mightyena and whatever other Pokémon Archie called on at bay, despite the disadvantage of the angry weather. Now he had to turn his attention to the other Aqua members.

They were surrounding Kyogre and Misty and were holding a number of PokéBalls and weapons in their hands. He looked between Misty and the Grunts, at a loss of what to do. He had to think quickly, but there were probably a dozen Grunts in front of him and they were going to do something that would assuredly hurt Misty any second.

Ash shot Pikachu a hesitant look, saying, "It's our best shot."

Pikachu launched himself off of Ash's shoulder and high up into the air, the rainwater washing the remaining mud off of him. When he was at the peak of his ascent, Pikachu curled into a ball before spreading his limbs wide and with a cry released a strong Thunder Attack in the direction of the Grunts and Kyogre.

Ash covered his face, hoping that the mud that was quickly running off into the sea would be enough to discharge any stray bolts carried in the rain, saving him from being electrocuted a second time today.

The Grunts—those that weren't left twitching on the ground—all cried out in pain and looked at Ash and Pikachu with terror before racing back into the base. Now that that was over, Ash turned his attention back to Archie and Noctowl. Three fainted Pokémon were lying in front of Archie and he was looking nervous. At the sight of all his subordinates rushing back into the base, Archie quickly recalled his Pokémon and ran after them with harsh words of revenge being blown by the wind.

Kyogre, however was still roaring in pain from the super-effective Attack. It was thrashing wildly, and Misty, unable to consciously hold on, was tossed off into the ocean. Ash watched in horror as the crazed Kyogre swung its enormous flippers through the water, dangerously close to where Misty had fallen. In just a few moments, Kyogre smashed right into Misty, tossing her body brokenly onto the boardwalk.

Misty's body shuddered, the blue pattern pulsing irregularly as she convulsed. Ash scrambled out of the thinning mud as fast as he could, using the splintered boardwalk as leverage to hoist his body up and crawled up beside her, the rain cleaning the grime off of him in a matter of seconds. He looked at her body, still twitching and his heart sunk. He didn't know what to do.

"Misty…" he whispered, leaning close to her. Pikachu hopped up beside them and threw Ash a questioning look. Ash shook his head. "No, Pikachu, you can't shock Misty out of it."

Instead, Ash leaned into Misty, holding her limp body in and looked at her sadly. He couldn't help it but to lean in and kiss her softly.

Misty twitched again and Ash pulled back. But the sight in front of him surprised him. Misty's eyes were open, but they weren't glowing anymore and the blue lines on her body were pulsing slower and slower. Suddenly Misty let out a cry of pain as the glowing pattern flowed from her extremities and to her middle, forming a small circle before expelling from her chest in the Red Orb. Immediately, the storm died down to a light drizzle with no wind to speak of and the orb hovered in the air above Ash and Misty's heads.

Misty fell limp in Ash's arms and Ash looked from her to Pikachu. "Destroy it," he said softly.

Nodding, Pikachu released a concentrated current of electricity to the center of the Red Orb. It glowed bright white for a moment before exploding, shattering into millions of sparkling shards. The pieces fell to the ground, all around Ash and Misty like a rain of sparkles, the destruction of something terrible becoming something beautiful in the moment of its end. Misty's eyes blinked open and she looked around, a look of awe in her eyes. She took in the beautiful sight and then looked at Ash, who was still holding her.

"What happened?" Misty asked.

"We did it," Ash answered simply.

With that Kyogre dove deep in to the sea, washing a small wave onto the destroyed boardwalk. The broken planks shuddered with the force of the wave, creaking beneath Ash and Misty. They threw each other a concerned look and Ash stood up, scooping a fatigued Misty into his arms. He carefully walked down the boardwalk as the storm died completely and a rainbow formed over their heads.

MISSION COMPLETED.

* * *

**A/N: **This story didn't turn out how I intended at all. I had wanted it to be a dark fic, (that's why there's hand to hand combat and such) and I had wanted it to be really long. It is neither of those things. I'm not sure how much I like this, but it's taken me weeks to write and it's about time that I put up the next chapter, even if it's completely different from my usual writing. Please give me your feedback on this chapter, because it's kind of weird for me. I don't think it's awful, but...I don't know.

Sorry that Misty sort of ended up a damsel in this one. I didn't mean it. I'll try to reverse that somewhere in this series.


	4. Drowning

Summary: D is for Drowning. This story is heavily inspired by a scene is a novel called _My Name Is Memory_ a great book with an incredibly unsatisfactory ending. But this scene went very well with one of my challenges that I set for myself.

Spoilers: Nothing. Completely AU

Pairing: Pokéshipping; Ash/Misty.

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

Rating: K+ for slight violence and adult themes.

**A/N:** No Pokémon in this world.

* * *

**Drowning**

Drowning. It always seemed like a nice way to go. The feeling of silky water all around you and not being able to feel anything else as you slowly succumb to it. No pain, only water.

Only water…

* * *

Misty loved the beach. She always dreamed of jetting off to exotic locations, with lots of water, of course, and finally she was here. The scene was beautiful. The sands were white, the water was blue, and there were palm trees as far as the eyes could see.

It was a shame she couldn't go outside.

She pulled the curtain just an inch aside and peeked out the window. A sliver of bright sunshine fell onto her face and she basked in it, reaching out to put her hand against the warm window pane. She could almost smell the salty ocean and feel the fine sand between her toes. She sighed as she drew the curtain shut, casting the room back in complete shadow.

Ash had given her explicit instructions to not leave the room. Now usually this wouldn't have stopped her from following on his heels with words of how she couldn't let him go on his own falling off her lips. But this time he had a sternness in his eyes that she knew better than to disobey.

Of course the fact that they were on the run was also a little bit of an influence on the matter.

The motel wasn't great. In fact, it was the cheapest one that they could find. They had already been there for a day, but Misty had no idea how much longer they would be staying there, so she didn't even bother unpacking. This left her with nothing to do but sit on the bed and long to go outside. She sighed.

At just that moment Ash came rushing into the room, a look of white terror on his face. He shut the door behind him, quickly fumbling with the lock. Misty reflexively darted to the corner of the room where there were no windows, her eyes instantly widening to match Ash's wild expression.

"Is he here?" Misty mouthed silently to Ash, afraid to make any noise.

Ash nodded his head, silently fumbling through their small cache of belongings before wrapping his hand comfortably around the handle of a gun. You could see the fear ebbing away from his face just from the quick moments of contact with the weapon. Deftly, he reached his other hand back into the bag and grabbed a second handgun, tossing this one to Misty, who caught it easily. She slipped the gun into the waistband of her denim shorts and moved across the room towards Ash, crouching low so as not to make a shadow on the blinds.

Misty couldn't believe that he'd found them so quickly. This island was completely random and in the middle of nowhere. They had anticipated being safe for at least a few days. She guessed that had just been wishful thinking. This guy always seemed to be one step ahead of them.

She had only moved a few feet before a bullet pierced through the window on the far side of the room, whizzed right over their heads and to the opposite window. They both immediately lay themselves flat on the carpet as a few small shards of glass fell harmlessly beside them.

Misty thought quickly. Their motel room was on the first floor and in the middle of the building. The gunman was clearly on one side of the building and it would take him a while to travel to the other side. With this in mind, she scrambled for the side of the room the bullet exited out of, wary of any more that could come flying through the room at any moment.

Noticing her movement Ash followed on her heels, army crawling behind her. Easily spotting the place where the bullet tore though the plastic blinds, Misty grabbed a metal lamp from a nearby nightstand and swung it strongly at the window right where the hole was. She immediately fell back to the ground, using her arms to cover her head from both the falling glass and in case the loud crash attracted interest from their trigger-happy friend. Both she and Ash stayed frozen for a few moments, but when they decided the coast was clear, they both leapt out of the now decently sized hole in the window, guns in hand.

* * *

They had immediately made a break for the parking lot and their rental car. They hopped in it and tore out of the motel parking lot, lucky not to have an angry concierge on their heels. They did, after all, stay in the motel without paying and then broke a window. Of course, some of that could be blamed on the gunman, so how mad could the motel really be at them?

Ash kept on glancing in the rearview mirror every few seconds. It was a long stretch of open road, so if there was a car anywhere behind them, he would be able to see it. On the other hand, a person in a car behind them could easily see them as well. They finally made it to a little convenience store where Ash haphazardly parked the car. They both immediately jumped out and darted into the store. Misty quickly found someone who readily agreed to drive them a little further down the road after seeing a wad of cash that Ash pulled out of his pocket.

With the help of the well-paid stranger, Ash and Misty found themselves at a small bungalow on the water a few miles off the main road. Ash swept his hand under the scratchy welcome mat for a key to open the small cottage. He quickly found it and opened the door, letting Misty in before himself and then shutting the door, locking it right away.

"How'd you get this place?" Misty asked after a few minutes, once she felt capable of speech.

Ash shook his head. "I have connections. I hoped that we wouldn't have to use it, though." Ash was skittishly looking out the windows, locking them in place, taking one last look to make sure that they had indeed gotten away without a trace. "Hopefully we can get a flight out of here tomorrow, but for tonight it would be best to lay low here."

Misty hummed in agreement. She found herself walking toward the curtained window, wanting to take a glance outside. She gasped when she looked outside. The location was remote, but the beach was just outside the house and the water was so clear she could see right through it, even through the obviously unwashed window. Misty couldn't help but turn to Ash, a hopeful look on her face.

At first his face was hard. Misty knew that Ash wanted to just stay in the house on the off chance that someone would see them, but seeing the hope radiating off her face, finally a different expression than one of fear, he couldn't help but soften. "Let's go outside."

* * *

Misty stripped off her clothes as soon as she stepped out the back of the bungalow, tossing her shirt and shorts on the concrete steps. Before making a mad dash for the water, she took a moment to take in the view. The island was beautiful anywhere they went, but this isolated beach seemed like a small, fanciful cove that they had all to themselves. It had been a long day, so the sun was setting, but the sand was still incredibly warm, as was the water when Misty dipped a toe in. She and Ash swam a little bit against the strong waves, being careful to avoid the sharp rock formations. Even though they had been shot at only a few hours ago, she couldn't help but feel incredibly blissful.

After spending maybe an hour rocking against the waves in the small corner of the ocean, the water began cooling and Ash and Misty got a little tired, since they hadn't taken a real moment to rest all day. So they decided to just flop their salty bodies into the still-warm sand and lay there in each others' arms.

"Don't say I never took you anywhere nice," Ash mumbled into Misty's hair as he pulled her close.

"Yeah," Misty said wryly. "This is really romantic, running for our lives, and all."

Misty felt Ash's lips curve into a smile against her head. "Actually, it kind of is."

You feel a certain kind of unmistakable freedom when you know that at least for the moment, you are safe. With that feeling completely taking over him, Ash rolled over so that he was on top of Misty, sand covering both of their bodies.

He looked into her eyes for a moment, just taking in how perfectly green they were and whispered, "I love you," before moving his lips on top of hers.

Misty reciprocated, moving her lips against his passionately, taking him in as though she would never be able to kiss him again. When they finally pulled away for a moment of air, she breathed, "I love you too," and went right back to kissing him.

Time and place melted away and it was only them. Nothing was between them but a few scraps of clothing and sand subtly scratching against their bodies as they writhed together. They lost themselves in each other feeling something that they hadn't let themselves feel in a long time. They could die tomorrow, but it wouldn't matter, because in that moment, nothing else mattered.

* * *

Misty woke up to find her cheek in the sand and a tan arm holding tightly across her waist. "Mm," she hummed as she slowly woke up. The day before was coming back to her in pieces. It probably hadn't been the best idea to sleep outside, but it felt just like old times to wake up on the ground next to Ash. She felt peaceful. If they hadn't been found all night, then chances seemed good that they might have enough time to leave the island safely.

"Misty?" Ash too was waking up, probably at the feeling of Misty stirring beside him.

Putting Ash's arm back on his own body, Misty got up and began sanding off, trying to get the majority of the overly-friendly particles to go back where they came from before going back to the cottage to take a shower. Ash joined her in swiping the sand off their bodies. When they found themselves reasonable enough to go inside without tracking too much of the ocean in with them, they grabbed their clothes that were still in a ball on the front stoop and went in.

Under the pretense that showering together would be more productive to get the dried sea water and sand off of them, Ash and Misty both hopped in the shower together and helped to rinse each other off, taking extra care to get all the sand out of their hair that they could. Feeling relaxed and renewed after that, they both stepped back into their clothes and went to the bedroom for a nap on an actual mattress. They returned to having Ash's arm tightly wound around Misty's middle and their legs tangled together and fell into a relaxed slumber.

* * *

Misty sat bolt upright in bed. No hazy wake up in the sand on the romantic beach this time. She could have sworn the she heard a rustle outside the window. This room had curtains, not shudders, so it was harder make out any shadows from something moving outside, especially with the great amount of foliage outside that was already moving with the morning breeze. Nothing looked out of the ordinary, but Misty still felt uneasy.

She got up out of bed and began moving to where she believed she had left her gun. But she didn't see it there. Realization hit her that she had left it on the back steps when she had taken her clothes off yesterday and she had forgotten to bring it in. She groaned, hitting her forehead, in disbelief at her own stupidity.

Hearing Misty's quiet berating, Ash too woke up. He sat up in bed and threw a look of drowsy confusion at Misty. "Waa?"

A shadow.

Misty froze, staring at the window. That was not the shadow of a leaf blowing up against the window. There was only an inch or so at the edge of the window where the curtain didn't quite reach that Misty could actually make out, but she could have sworn that she saw something…

"Ash!" Misty yelped as she leaped for the bed, pushing his body down flat. She screamed as she heard the now familiar sound of a bullet piercing threw the glass. This time, though, she didn't hear it go out the opposite window. She saw blood and began to panic. "Ash!" she yelled again. "Are you okay?"

Ash quickly pushed himself out of bed and brought Misty, who was still on top of him, with him. He held her bridal style and made a run for the door that led out the back. Nearly tripping over the gun, he leaned down and somehow picked it up without losing his hold on Misty. Righting himself, he ran in the only direction he had: into the water.

He didn't stop when he hit the water, though. The waves overtook him and once the water was high enough, Misty fell out of his arms and floated on the surface of the water. Taking the opportunity now that both his hands were free, Ash turned around and held the gun out from his body, taking a number of shots in the direction of the shore. Misty, for her part, flopped her limbs, trying to swim but realized that her left arm was barely moving. It wasn't Ash who got shot, it was her.

Misty grit her teeth as she finally felt the pain. Bullet or no, she was Misty, and she was a strong swimmer. She kicked off her thick jean shorts so that she would have less resistance and less weight in the water and began to swim, Ash only a little ways in front of her.

It was harder to swim than she anticipated with only one arm. Her legs had the power to propel her forward, but it was harder to fight the still powerful waves. And the salty water licking her wound send shocks of pain through her with every second.

The small cove was mostly encompassed by rocks, forming a little horseshoe so the beach was almost like a little pool. There were only a few spaces in between the rocks that you could actually get through. She and Ash both made it to one of the rocks and took shelter behind it, trying to hold on without getting cut by the sharp rock as the waves slammed them into its rough surface.

They took that moment to survey the shore. There was one man, pacing back and forth on the shore, trying to keep Ash and Misty in his sights, while obviously hesitant to actually go into the water. They seemed to be in a stalemate.

"What do we do?" Misty asked Ash.

"Well," Ash said, breathing heavily, "He can't shoot us from here. And he can't leave to get a boat, so for the moment, we're definitely safest just staying in the water."

Taking a breather, but also trying to be proactive, Ash scooted across the rock, closer to Misty.

"What?" Misty asked, when she noticed Ash.

"I just want to take a look at your shoulder," Ash murmured as he pulled her shirt away from the wound. "I want to tie this up."

Ash quickly peeled off his own wet shirt and began pulling at it, ripping it to shreds. Once he ripped a strip long enough, he took care to tie Misty's shoulder. He moved her shirt back into place, clearly trying not to focus too much on all the clothes she _wasn't _wearing. They both then looked back to the beach.

He wasn't there. Misty felt a ball of fear drop hard in her stomach. Then, Ash pointed. "There he is!"

He had quickly started running around, in the direction of one of the rocks that jutted out from the land. If he got on top of that rock, he would be close enough to shoot them with great accuracy. Their hiding spot wouldn't keep them safe if he was in range to shoot them and looking at them from above. They had no choice but to keep swimming.

They both pushed off the rock, ignoring the feeling of its sharp surface puncturing their skin. Misty heard a few shots fire, but the landed harmlessly in the water nowhere near her or Ash. He was clearly getting desperate. And he knew as well as she and Ash did that if they swam he couldn't get them.

Even though the waves were pushing against them, Misty knew it was easier to swim out than it was to be swimming with the waves. In between the waves hitting, they would pull them out to sea and only push them away at the moment of impact. It was comforting to know that the ocean was helping them get away, but Misty also knew that they would be so exhausted that it would be impossible to get back.

It didn't help that the water was getting colder and colder the farther out they went.

* * *

They had been swimming for a long time. Ash and Misty were both incredibly fit with good endurance to boot. Misty especially had very good swimming endurance. It was just her arm that was weighing her down. It was throwing off her usual rhythm. They both had to swim underwater, as it was easier to get distance, but it was getting harder and harder for Misty to push up and break the surface.

"Hey, Ash?" Misty gasped in between breaths when she saw his head above water.

He turned back to her, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Have you ever thought about drowning?" she asked, fighting to keep the sea water out of her mouth.

Ash's brows furrowed together. "What are you talking about?"

"Ash," Misty said in a resigned voice, "there's no land anywhere, we can't turn back, and there are no people or boats around. What do you think is going to happen to us?"

Ash shook his head and moved toward Misty, grabbing her with one arm. He then began to propel both of them forward.

"What are you doing?" Misty asked.

"I know you're too strong to admit that you can't swim with that bullet lodged in your shoulder, but I won't let you even consider death as the only way out of this until it is."

Misty shifted so that he legs were further away from Ash's body and she could kick, ensuring that he wasn't doing all of the work. He was surely just as tired as she was, so he shouldn't have to carry both of them just because she had gotten injured.

"We'll be okay."

* * *

Misty was starting to lose hope that there would be any land nearby. If you looked in any direction, all you could really see was water. They were even starting to see less birds. When they had taken off swimming, she had felt sure that they would reach land eventually, but that had probably been a couple of hours ago at this point. Now she was starting to feel that even if they could continue swimming all day, they wouldn't see anything.

The water was now so cold that she couldn't feel her left arm hardly at all. Of course, most of that was because of the bullet wound and the blood loss, but the cold was starting to take over her body.

Still, they kept swimming.

Ash had carried her for a while, but she felt him beginning to falter and insisted on going back to swimming on her own. She argued that she had taken a breather and could now go a ways further without his help. Even after carrying her all that distance and her not doing much he was still proving to be a stronger swimmer. If only she hadn't been shot in the shoulder her training would have made it so she could have kept going until they found land. At this rate, though, she wasn't so sure.

"Misty?" Ash called out behind him.

"Yeah?" she managed.

"I think it's time."

She knew what he meant. If they saw even a speck of land somewhere in the distance she would have felt sure that they would make it. Where they were, though, they couldn't be sure if there was land within even the next few miles. She felt heavier with his words, like she couldn't keep swimming anymore if she wanted to.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

With that, Misty put both of her arms above her head, and breathed out her remaining air into little bubbles on the water's surface and she began to sink.

Drowning. It always seemed like a nice way to go. She spent so much time in the water that she had obviously thought about it before. Sometimes when she was younger she would sink down to the floor of the deep end and just sit there, testing her breath, wondering what would happen if it failed. It was peaceful. The feeling of silky water all around you and not being able to feel anything else as you slowly succumb to it. No pain, only water.

One time she had stayed under so long that her older sisters got worried and dove and pulled her to the top. She insisted that she was fine, but her sisters vehemently told her that she could never, ever do something like that again.

But now she felt that peaceful feeling rising over her again as she sank deeper and deeper into to cool depths. Even though the pressure on top of her was getting more intense, she felt weightless. There was nothing more comforting than the soft embrace of water all around you, gently shifting you throughout it. She smiled as she felt it.

Only water…

* * *

**A/N:** Whew, this one took a while, didn't it? Well, this story was both a little dark and it definitely had an unhappy ending. That's a first for me, so I'm pleased. Don't worry, I'll try to make the next one happier. I'm realizing that oneshots are tough for me because I don't like to name names without reason (which is why you know nothing about the villain in this story.) Had these scenes been in a multi-chap fic I think that I would have wrote it better with more details. I still think this is okay, though, even though I didn't even read over most of it. I like that this one is decently long, though. Almost 4K!

Since the last one of these was published I've been in three shows, one of which I starred in, graduated from high school, and spent a week in Bermuda. So you understand why this took so long. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Leave requests and reviews!


	5. Effeminize

**Summary**: E is for Effeminize. "What do you mean people don't see me as being that feminine?" Misty asked dangerously.

**Spoilers**: Nothing. But a very slight reference to _The Stun Spore Detour_.

**Pairing**: Very slight Pokéshipping; Ash/Misty, and very slight Contestshipping; Drew/May

**Rating**: K+ for adult themes.

**Genre**: Friendship/Romance

**Disclaimer**: I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

* * *

**Effeminize**

"You what?" Dawn asked with sparkles in her eyes.

"I said," Misty started with barely restrained irritation, "that I want to go shopping. What's the big deal?"

Misty looked at Dawn the answer the question, but she was occupied by looking into space with dreamy eyes. Seeing her as a lost cause, Misty turned to May for some means of explanation.

"Well, you just don't seem like the type that likes to go shopping," May said simply.

Misty looked bewildered. "Why does everyone think that?"

May looked to Dawn for help, but the girl was still lost in wonderland, so May sighed and wracked her brain for some answer that wouldn't offend the fiery redhead. "Uhh…"

"Uhh…" Misty said mockingly as she threw May a wide-eyed look as if to say 'get on with it or pain will be involved.'

"Um, well, I guess some people just look at you and don't see you as being that feminine?"

"What‽"

"I mean—"

"What do you mean people don't see me as being that feminine?" Misty asked dangerously.

"I only meant that because of what you wear and how you act and what you do, you're kind of branded as, er, the 'tomboy mermaid.'" May finished quickly and flinched, as if waiting for the world to explode around her.

"And…?" Misty asked her face now less accusatory and more confused.

"And so people assume that you're not a girly-girl," May finished. "Because, you know, tomboy sort of means the opposite of that…"

But Misty had already stopped listening. "Dawn?" Misty turned to the girl, snapping her fingers in front of her face a few times to snap her out of her shopping reverie. "Dawn!"

Dawn shook her head as if to make herself more alert and turned to the other two girls with wide eyes. "What?"

May and Misty sighed.

"Is it true that people don't think of me as a girly-girl?" Misty asked, now that the girliest girl of all of them was out of la-la land.

"Of course not," Dawn answered, looking confused. "You're not, so why would they?"

Misty smacked her head with her hand and collapsed onto the floor dramatically.

"Misty?" May called out, crawling over to her friend. "Why do you care if people think that you're girly or not?"

Misty sat up quickly, almost smacking May in the head with her own head. May shot backwards, but Misty was unfazed. "I care because I am girly!" Misty shouted, throwing her arms out in frustration. "I like dresses, I like makeup, I like tea sets, so why the heck does everyone think that I'm a tomboy?"

Before Misty knew it, Dawn was about two inches from her face, squinting her eyes and looking at it carefully.

"What on earth are you doing?" Misty asked slowly and calmly as if there wasn't a person examining her face.

"Wow!" Dawn exclaimed suddenly, still looking at Misty's face. "You are wearing makeup!" Her eyebrows then furrowed, a pensive look on her face. "How have I never noticed before?" Then with horror: "Am I losing my touch?"

"Because I'm really good at it!" Misty snapped, pushing Dawn's face out of her own. "I know how to apply it subtly so that you can't tell that I'm wearing it and I know how to apply it for shows so that it stays, both on land and underwater."

May nodded, looking impressed. "I had no idea."

"Well, I guess I can't blame you. It seems no one has any idea." Misty slouched dejectedly against the wall. "Maybe that's why I can never get a date."

The girls sat in silence for a moment before Dawn stood up, sparkles once again in her eyes. "I have an idea!"

* * *

"I can't believe you guys talked me into this," Misty moaned.

"Well, technically it was your idea," Dawn said, a sly smile on her face. "You were the one that wanted to go shopping."

"Yeah, shopping. Like browsing for clothes and shoes, _not_ having a Dawn makeover day."

May touched Misty's shoulder sympathetically. "Hey, it happens to the best of us. It's like a rite of passage to be Dawn's friend."

"Then I guess we haven't been friends for three years," Misty muttered.

"Besides," Dawn bubbled, either completely unaware of the negative thoughts about her or deciding to overlook it, "we're going to that party with the guys tonight, and so it will be the perfect time to debut your new look."

"Or it will be the perfect time to shower off my new look before anyone outside the three of us can see it," Misty suggested.

"I don't know, Misty," May said, a playful look in her eye. "Being naked in a bathroom at a party doesn't seem like a good image for the new you or the old you."

Misty slapped her upside the head.

"Ow! It was just a joke!"

"Ooh!" Dawn exclaimed as her eyes bugged out of her head. "A department store! Perfect! Let's go!"

Abruptly, Dawn grabbed both girls by the arms and started physically dragging them in the direction of the department store. The three were garnering a few strange looks, but Dawn didn't even seem to notice, as her eyes were glued to her motherland in the distance.

* * *

"And that's the last touch!" Dawn lifted her makeup brush off of Misty's face with a flourish and a look of glee.

Misty blinked awkwardly, trying to get the stray makeup residue out of her eyes, making them water in the process.

"Oh, don't do that," Dawn scolded, fanning her hands in Misty's eyes in a vain attempt to keep the water from smudging her masterpiece.

Misty shooed Dawn's hands away as she stopped blinking. "I've got it!" She took a small tissue and placed a corner of it in the corner of her eye to sop up the liquid and blinked a couple times to make sure that there was no more irritation. "Ugh, I told you I could do my own makeup, Dawn."

Dawn looked at Misty with sympathetic eyes and a small smile—the kind of look you give to a small child. "I know you _think _you can, sweetie. You've proven that you have talent, but you don't have my vision," Dawn exclaimed with dramatic hand gestures. "Besides I didn't want you to see the finished product until it was all done—hair, makeup, and wardrobe."

"You do look fabulous," May said, an expression of earnest appreciation on her face.

"I better," Misty grumbled, her eyes closed as Dawn led her to the mirror. "Dawn stabbed me with that eyeliner pencil three times."

"Well, I'm not used to doing it on other people!" Dawn defended herself, a wounded expression on her face."

"I told you I could do it myself!"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Are we really back to that?"

Before Misty could open her mouth again, Dawn stopped and told her to open her eyes. Misty did just that and was stunned speechless. She blinked a few times, this time in wonderment. She had to admit, eyeliner pencil skills aside, Dawn knew what she was doing. And even the eyeliner didn't look bad. In fact, her eyes had the perfect smoky eye, making them look deliciously seductive.

"Am I good, or am I good?" Dawn gloated, obviously pleased with Misty's response.

"Oh, shut up."

Misty had intended for it to come out as a snap, but it sounded more like a reverent whisper. She hesitantly touched her hair, which was loosely curled, barely brushing her shoulders. It looked soft and shiny—she couldn't help but want to touch it. She then fingered the hem of her skirt, trying to inch it down just a bit, but also in awe at how long her legs looked.

"Isn't it exciting to finally have a bra that's the right size," Dawn teased, grabbing Misty's bra strap and snapping it, making the redhead flinch.

"And one that's not a sports bra," May added. "No wonder, everyone thought you were a tomboy—they couldn't see that you have tits!"

"They're more comfortable!" Misty half-heartedly defended herself. "And they look fine with the tank tops that I wear."

"Yes, they do," May conceded. "But you can see why people never thought that you were particularly girly, just based off of the way that you dressed."

"But now no one will make that mistake ever again," Dawn said happily.

"I guess I was trying so hard not to be like my sisters that I kind of overcorrected."

May tilted her head to the side, a look of contemplation on her face. "Come to think of it…"

They all looked in the mirror. Misty was wearing a royal blue dress with a high neckline and thick bands that hugged her body all the way down to her waist, at which point the short skirt flared out to the point at which it would be dangerous if she spun around without wearing shorts underneath. With Misty's curvy figure now accented, she looked shockingly like a Sensational Sister.

Misty had always tried so hard not to be identified along with her ditzy sisters that Dawn and May felt the need to step back, in case Misty's temper chose that moment to flare up. Instead, Misty smirked, a sinister look in her eyes.

"They'll be so jealous."

* * *

The three girls arrived at the party—Drew was hosting it, of course. Not to let Misty have all the fun, Dawn was wearing a crop top and a bandage skirt, her hair straightened and May was wearing a simple tee-shirt dress with the tallest of heels and her hair up.

Dawn tried hard not to smile too widely at all the ogling they were getting.

"Guys, we are so hot!" she speak-whispered.

"I don't know, May said, shifting awkwardly on her heels. "I think that Misty's getting most of the looks."

It was true. Misty was getting eyed like nobody's business. Her body was like a secret that nobody had known about and now that it was known to everyone it was all anyone could talk about.

She blushed a little, cursing redheads and their easy blushing. "This must be what it's like to be one of my sisters."

"Well, no one will mistake you for being a tomboy ever again," May declared.

"Yeah, Maybe I'll even start to get some dates," Misty said jokingly.

At just that moment, Ash sidled up next to Misty. "Hey, Misty."

"Hey, Ash," Misty squeaked.

"Hey, Ash," Dawn said, playfully. "Notice anything different?"

Ash looked at Dawn, an empty expression on his face. "What did you get a haircut or something?"

Dawn laughed. "No, not me, silly. New with Misty."

Still looking positively mystified, Ash turned to Misty. "Did you get a new haircut?"

Dawn's face fell and May slapped her forehead.

Misty brushed both of her friends off and shook her head at Ash. "No, it's nothing, ignore Dawn. Hey, Ash, let's go dance."

With words he understood being said to him, Ash's face lit up and he smiled eagerly. "Okay!"

The two went off, deeper into the party, leaving a bewildered Dawn and a smiling May.

"Maybe she will end up naked in a bathroom," May said cheekily.

Dawn slapped her.

"Ow, why do I always get smacked?"

"'Cause you always say stupid things," Dawn shot back at her.

"Oh, don't be bitter just because Ash didn't notice her makeover," May, said, rubbing her cheek.

Dawn just huffed, crossing her arms and turning away from May. May just shrugged her shoulders and went to Drew, who was waving her over. As May left, Dawn turned quickly back to her gaping.

"I should have just left them the way they were."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, this story was the slightest bit self-indulgent because it can lead to this mini-rant. _Bittersweet Romanticide_ had a story series collection of oneshots called _Cannon Rape_ in which she addressed things that people write that just don't make sense for the show or life. This is mine: MISTY DOESN'T HATE ALL THINGS GIRLY. I've seen that kind of thing in so many stories and it's wrong, _wrong, WRONG_. She has addressed that she is a romantic and that she likes girly things. :End rant:


	6. Flames

**Summary: **F is for Flames. This was a reader request and I'm sorry that it took me months to write!

**Pairings: **Pokéshipping and Luckshipping.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

**Rating: **K

* * *

**Flames**

"You know, I remember when you two used to be fun."

Brock was picking at his food while he sat in a booth across from his two best friends, who were busy smooching. He rolled his eyes and decided to continue his game of seeing how much food he could steal off of Ash's plate before he noticed. It had started out being fun—that kid never lost track of his food, so it was very entertaining to see him do so—but as Brock slowly acquired almost all of Ash's french fries, it became less fun and more of a stomach ache.

Ash and Misty pulled apart, and looked sheepishly across the table at Brock.

"Sorry, Brock," Misty said apologetically as she subtly wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

"No, I understand," Brock said, sighing. "You guys have only been together a few months, so of course you're still all…couple-y. I just regret the fact that I'm on a double date with you two and Pikachu as my date."

The three of them looked over at a sleeping Pikachu, who had long since given up on his human companions. Instead, he had made quick work of the ketchup that came with Ash's meal and took a nap right there on the table. The little mouse didn't even make the effort to roll over onto the booth.

Suddenly, Misty clapped her hands together crying, "Oooh, that's it!"

The boys shifted their gaze from Pikachu over to Misty, looking confused over her outburst. "Huh?" they both said in unison.

"A double date!" she exclaimed. "We should go on a double date!"

"Uh, good idea, Mist, except for one thing," Ash said wryly.

Misty narrowed her eyes at him. "And what's that?"

"Brock doesn't have a girlfriend."

Neither of them noticed Brock slumping over dejectedly in his seat, a loud sigh escaping his lips.

Misty rolled her eyes at Ash and flicked his nose. "I know that, silly. We're going to set him up with someone!"

At that Brock perked up. "One of your sisters?" Brock asked excitedly.

Misty kicked him under the chair. "Of course not." Her expression turned smug. "But don't worry—we'll find your perfect match. Just give us a week."

Brock wrinkled his nose as he looked between Ash and Misty. Leaving his love life in the hands of two eighteen-year-olds who had needed eight years and a dozen people's scheming in order to finally realize that they were in love with each other. Yeah, that seemed like a good plan.

"Fine."

What? He was desperate.

Ash and Misty were in the den of the Ketchum residence. Misty was holding her face in a pillow after having spent the last couple minutes screaming into it. Ash, meanwhile, was channel surfing on the TV, studiously ignoring his girlfriend's mental breakdown. Pikachu was sleeping on the cushion beside Ash.

Misty threw the cushion at him.

"Hey!"

"Ash!" Misty called, her voice breaking from insane desperation. "Every girl I can think of has already met Brock and thus is completely unwilling to go out with him. Who can we trick into doing this?"

Ash tapped his chin, thinking. "Your sisters?"

Misty threw another cushion at him. He used the first cushion to deflect this one, which would have made it land safely on the side, but instead it landed on Pikachu, leaving a very ruffled and unhappy mouse.

Pikachu leapt up on Ash's shoulder and began chattering angrily in his ear, but Ash paid him no mind. Misty was still going nuts and angry girlfriend would always trump angry Pikachu.

"Okay, fine. Who's a girl who doesn't think Brock is crazy, but isn't crazy herself?"

"She doesn't exist!" Misty bemoaned, collapsing to the floor.

Ash ignored Misty's outcry and continued thinking. He had spent the most time with Brock and thus knew more girls that he had met than Misty did. There had to be someone…

Ash squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating so hard that his head started to hurt. He hated it when that happened. Usually that was the point where he would just give up, but this was Brock. There had to be someone. He pushed through the pain, trying to remember every girl he had ever met. There had to be someone…

Then his eyes shot open, an excited look on his face.

Misty had been staring at him, his look of concentration piquing curiosity in her. She almost never saw him with that face, so she couldn't help but be intrigued. His dramatic shift filled her with hope. "Did you think of someone?" she asked in wonderment.

"I think so," Ash said slowly, still working through it in his head.

Misty's face immediately fell to one of contempt. "If you suggest one of my sisters I will hit you."

"No, that's only a last resort."

She hit him anyway.

A week past and the three of them, plus Pikachu, were again sitting in a restaurant. This one, however, was not a burger joint, much to Ash's chagrin. Brock had insisted that since he very well could be meeting the love of his life, apple of his eye, keeper of his soul, etc. today, they must add a little class to their usual proceedings. Misty was quick to jump on board.

Ash still ordered a burger, though.

Brock was sitting restlessly. His leg was bouncing up and down so much that it was jiggling the table, causing Pikachu much distress. His ketchup was going everywhere.

"Brock, you know what you should do?" Misty suggested carefully as Ash tried desperately to hold the table down. "You should go into the kitchen and cook yourself. You know how cooking calms you down. And I'm sure this girl will be very touched by you cooking the meal yourself."

The mere thought of cooking made Brock's leg stop rattling the table and for the first time that night a smile shown on his face. "That's a great idea, Misty!"

And he hopped up and scampered over to the kitchen.

"Make sure to make my burger first!" Ash called after him.

Misty rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. She loved him after all.

Using his mystical Super-Brock powers, not a moment later, Brock was out of the kitchen with a perfectly constructed burger on a plate. He'd even drizzled the condiments in a classy little zigzag to make it look more expensive than it was.

Ash was quick to smear it.

And as quick as Brock's anxiety went away, it came right back. Again, the table was shaking and Brock was all nerves.

"Brock, calm down!" Misty exclaimed.

Unfortunately, Brock was not to be calmed down.

She sighed. At least it had gone away for a little while.

"Where is she?" he cried out melodramatically.

"She'll be here any minute, I'm sure," Misty reassured him.

And like Misty had spoken the words of a prophecy, there she appeared.

Abruptly, Brock's body froze, easing the table. His eyes went wide and his body went rigid with a lack of breath.

In Brock's line of sight was a beautiful girl with long, angular black hair and red streaks framing her face. It was unmistakable.

"Lucy."

As Brock's voice came out with the breathy sigh of adoration, a soft blush arose on Lucy's face.

"Hi, Brock," she murmured shyly.

While the two of them shared a moment, Ash, Misty, and Pikachu exchanged glances and sighs of relief. Their plan was working. Thank Mew.

Lucy then approached the table and Brock jumped out of his seat, nearly kicking it over in the process. He darted over to her own seat and pulled it out in as gentlemanly a manner as possible. Lucy's blush deepened as she murmured a quiet "Thank you."

Brock returned to his own seat and the two of them sat there, just staring at each other. Minutes passed with only a few blinks separating their eye contact. Ash, Misty, and Pikachu all sweat-dropped.

"Uh, it seems to be going well," Ash said quietly as he licked up the last few crumbs of his burger.

"Yeah, they seem to have really hit it off," Misty agreed, with sarcasm laced in her voice.

More time passed.

And then the smoke alarms went off.

It took a few moments of buzzing before the alarm went off in Brock's head.

"Oh, I was cooking something in the kitchen!" he exclaimed.

Brock quickly got up out of his chair and started moving towards the kitchen. Ash practically tackled him. "How about no. Let's get out of here instead!"

It only took a moment for Brock to agree and the two of them grabbed their girls—and a Pikachu—and dashed out of there.

Once they got out to the parking lot, Brock realized that he was holding Lucy's hand. He blushed. "Oh, sorry," he said, abruptly dropping her hand.

"No," Lucy said with a shake of her head, a blush rising on her cheeks as well. "It was nice."

Brock grinned. "How about we have dinner at my place instead? I promise not to burn it down."

"Sounds like a plan."

The two of them got into Brock's car and sped off, hands intertwined between the seats.

Meanwhile, Ash and Misty sweat-dropped.

"Uh, I think they forgot about us," Ash said.

"Maybe…" Misty said slowly.

"Pika pika."

"Well…I guess it's a good sign?" Misty suggested.

"Yeah," Ash agreed sardonically. "And I guess we're walking home."

* * *

**A/N: **Okay, so you guys didn't like the last chapter. I understand that. And then this one took me months to get out. I actually wrote the first part of it months ago, it just took me forever to finish. I haven't had a lot of time or inspiration to write lately. So the end is kind of rushed, but I hope you liked it anyway. Especially the reader that requested it! Not sure when the next chapter is going to be up, but I will finish this series eventually. If you don't like the long waits, go read my current multi-chap in-progress fic. That's updated every Wednesday. Love you all!


	7. Goodnight

**Summary**: G is for Goodnight. Totally cliché. Apologies below.

**Spoilers**: Absolutely none.

**Pairing**: Pokéshipping; Ash/Misty. A little Egoshipping; Gary/Misty.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

* * *

**Goodnight**

Customary moonlit walk to the door.

A few moments of awkward smiles and flickering eyes.

The quick peck on the lips.

Chivalrous murmur goodnight.

And he walks back the way he came.

End date.

With a smile on her lips, Misty opened the door to the Ketchum residence—where she had been staying the past couple days. Careful not to make too much noise and potentially wake the house, Misty slipped off her heels and hung up her jacket by the door.

Convinced that she had snuck back in successfully, Misty began padding toward the couch that she had been using as a makeshift bed when suddenly the lights flicked on and a man seemed to pounce out of nowhere.

It took everything Misty had not to scream. Instead she violently gasped, which was followed by a muffled coughing fit.

"Ash!" Misty wheezed, blinking away tears from both the sudden onslaught of light as well as the coughing. "What on earth do you think you're doing?"

For his part, Ash, cool as a cucumber, was leaning against the back of the couch with his arms crossed and a single brow raised at Misty. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Why are you hiding out, waiting for me in the middle of the night?"

Ash shrugged nonchalantly. "I just wanted to know how your date went."

Her heartbeat finally beginning to slow down, and her voice settled, Misty responded evenly, "You easily could have asked me that tomorrow morning."

"It already is tomorrow," Ash replied cheekily with a glance at his watch.

"Okay," Misty said, standing up straighter and looking him directly in the eye with a fire as though she'd just been challenged. If he wanted to tussle, she would tussle. "It was lovely. Gary was a perfect gentleman, and it was a perfect evening." She buttoned the statement with a raise of her eyebrows, as if in defiance.

"Is that so?" Ash asked, perfectly matching her hard stare. "Down to the goodnight kiss?"

Hearing the subtle change in tone on those last two words, Misty smiled like the Cheshire Cat. "Best goodnight kiss ever."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Misty hadn't noticed it, but with each question Ash asked, he took a step forward, closer and closer to her. At this point, his nose was practically touching hers.

"Better than this one?"

And before Misty knew what was happening Ash's lips were on hers, delivering a much different goodnight kiss than the peck Gary had given her just minutes before.

When he pulled back, Ash looked at Misty expectantly. "Well?"

For a moment, Misty was in a surprised stupor, having been totally caught off-guard by the kiss. However, she quickly gathered her wits and narrowed her eyes at Ash. "You always have to be the best at everything, don't you?"

Crossing his arms and smiling smugly, Ash just said, "I'll take that as a yes." He then turned around and made towards his room. "Goodnight, Mist."

Then Misty let her own smirk creep on her face as he touched her hand carefully to her lips.

She would have to thank Gary for operation fake date tomorrow.

In the meantime she was thanking her lucky stars she didn't smack him for the goodnight kiss.

* * *

**A/N: **Not a single part of this is good, but it's a slump-buster. I just needed to write something and this challenge is my dump for that. Apologies. Maybe someone out there will like it. Anyway, next chapter is supposed to be H for Hex, so that one should be a lot more fun! I'm excited!


	8. Hex

**Summary**: H is for Hex.

**Pairing**: PokéShipping; Ash/Misty, ContestShipping; Drew/May

**Rating:** T for teen partying.

**Genre:** Romance

**Disclaimer**: I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

* * *

**Hex**

The black clothes. The pointy hat. The broom.

A perfect (if slightly cliché) Halloween costume.

Well, almost perfect. As Misty teetered up the stoop to the house, she was tugging at the ends of her skirt, trying to will it to grow just a couple of inches in length. Yes, it was a house party and it was Halloween—her outfit was going to be far from the sluttiest—but still. Usually when she wore something this short, it was _shorts_. Not a skirt that seemed to flip up all on its own.

She had intended to wear the typical longer witch garb but her sisters had practically taken her hostage on her way out the door and stuffed her into this mini dress and the sky-high heels to match. Surprisingly, she did have to admit that it did make her legs look phenomenal.

Not that she would have told them that.

Instead, she had rolled her eyes and made for the door, carefully getting the hang of the stilettos along the way. At least she had managed to convince them that black tights wouldn't ruin the outfit, and saved her a touch of modesty.

Back to the house with the strobe lights and the pumping beats that were pouring out the door. Misty was met at the door by a girl dressed as a Kirlia and all of a sudden she felt a lot less self-conscious about her skirt-length. The Kirlia-girl was bebopping along with the pounding bass that could be heard from the basement of the house and happily (or drunkenly) sharpied an X on her hand before waving Misty into the house.

When she walked in, she was immediately met by May squealing her name and wobbling over to her, draping herself along Misty.

"Misty, I'm so glad you're here!" May gushed, bringing her in for a very enthusiastic hug, leaning most of her weight against her.

Misty, caught off-guard by having to hold up May's dead weight, nodded slowly. "Me too," she answered carefully, looking May up and down. "What are you dressed as?"

"I'm fire, duh," May replied with a roll of her eyes, picking herself off of Misty. She gestured at the red sequined bra she was wearing down to the long, gauzy skirt of orange and red fabric swaying around her. "Because I'm hot."

"How many guys have used that pickup line on you?"

"Oh, just a fe—Let's go get you a drink!" May suggested, cutting herself off. "Get you more on my level."

That definitely would make the party more fun. "Good ide—"

"And we can fill up my drink too!" May cut Misty off too, gasping at the novel idea as she whipped around her half-empty cup. "Let's go!"

Uh no. Misty had already spent all of the Fall into Fall party last month following drunk May and holding her hair as she threw up off the balcony. There was no way that she was doing that again.

"Uhh," Misty drew out, stalling for time as her eyes began to glow a subtle light blue in the dim light of the house. "But your cup is already full, May."

May tilted her head, looking down at her suddenly full cup. "Oh, I guess it is. Silly me."

Misty let out a breath of relief, hoping that drunk May wouldn't notice how watered down her drink suddenly was. Sometimes the ability to bend water came in handy.

She looked down at her witch costume as May took her hand to drag her to the drinks. What better place for a witch to hide than in plain sight?

* * *

She had been right. After that first drink, the party livened up a lot more. And, fortunately, May had calmed down and was taking a rest on the couch now as she drank, what was at this point, just water. And she was talking to Drew. May was a happy drunk, so maybe she would be able to get through a conversation without yelling at him today.

After Misty had gotten her first drink, and ditched her broom someplace, she made a beeline for the basement, where the music and the dance floor were. She had managed to find Brock down there and danced with him for a little bit before he went chasing after some girl dressed as a contortionist. And yes, she had the moves to go with it. She wouldn't be seeing him for the rest of the party, she was sure.

Now she was abandoned. It wasn't that she was having a bad time, but she wasn't exactly having _fun_ either. Her current mean of entertainment was perusing the party for spills and using her special ability to make the water evaporate. Sure, it sounded boring, but she had the added challenge of doing it without anyone noticing.

But since everyone was trashed, yeah, it was pretty boring.

Misty was just beginning to contemplate the idea of calling a cab when suddenly the lights and the music cut out all at once. In the darkness, Misty could see a faint yellow glow illuminating someone's face for only a second before it faded.

Then the shouting started.

"Who turned off the lights?"

"Turn the light back on!"

"The music's out too, it's a blackout, dumbass."

"A blackout?"

"Blackout 2015, get blackout drunk everyone!"

"Woo!"

"Guys, guys!" Suddenly Brock's voice came out above the crowd's. "The cops are here, so be quiet!"

That sobered most everybody up enough to be paraded in relative quiet to the basement. By now most people, or at least people with pockets, had their cell phones on as flashlights, so Misty could see that Brock's face was flushed and he had something sparkly on his lips. Well, good for him.

But standing next to him was a boy she'd never seen before. Even in the blackout he was wearing sunglasses. And he had a Pikachu on his shoulder…who was also wearing sunglasses.

Curious, Misty made her way over to them, carefully avoiding the herd of people walking the opposite direction. As she got closer and the boy turned his head so that his face was in profile of hers, Misty gasped. This was definitely the kid that she'd seen in the glow just after the blackout.

Now Misty was walking with determination over to them. She placed herself square in front of Brock with an expectant look on her face. "Hey, Brock."

"Hey, Misty," Brock replied, his eyebrows raised in surprise. After a few seconds of Misty's expression remaining unchanged, Brock finally caught on. "Oh, and this is my friend Ash."

Suddenly Misty's face burst into an amicable smile and she thrust out her hand to shake. "Pleased to meet you, Ash."

"Pleased to meet you, t—"

"Why'd you turn the power off?" she interrupted him, her face still holding an easy grin.

Ash, on the other hand, was clearly startled. He exchanged an uneasy glance with his Pikachu and then Brock.

Brock, however, patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, Ash. She's a Water witch."

"And you're an Electric warlock," Misty added, eyeing the Pikachu.

"Uh, yeah," Ash said uneasily, scratching his head awkwardly. "I swear, they should make a club or something so that things like this are easier…"

Brock started moving towards the front door. "Hey, so I'm going to see if there's still police outside or not. I'll catch up with you guys later."

And just like that, Ash and Misty were alone together.

"So what are you dressed as?" Misty asked immediately.

"Oh," Ash chuckled with a little eye roll. "Pikachu really wanted to be the three blind mice, but there's only two of us, so we're just…two blind mice, I guess. Except we left our sticks somewhere so now we're, I dunno, secret agents or something."

Misty laughed. "Yeah, I've learned that props are not the best thing to bring to parties. I don't even know where my broom is anymore."

"Broom…so are you a maid or something?"

Misty nearly face-faulted. "No, I'm a witch!"

It took Ash a second, but then he laughed. "Oh, I get it! Clever."

"A little too clever, I guess." Sure, she was making fun of him, but there was something she found very endearingly adorable about this guy. "So why are you still wearing the sunglasses? You can't see better in the dark just because you wield electricity, can you?"

"What? No," Ash responded with a shake of his head. "I've just found that sunglasses are the safest bet, because then people can't see your eyes glowing."

Misty blinked. That was genius. Why hadn't she ever thought of it before? Here she was dressing as a witch to cover it up when, in reality, very little was covered at all.

Before Misty had the chance to muse further on her stupidity, Brock came back in. "Alright, the cops are gone and the lights are off in the neighbors' houses—they seem pacified by the quiet. Also some people left at the blackout, so it should be fine to get things started up again."

"Excellent."

Ash's eyes glowed briefly, though, he was right, it was barely visible behind the glasses, and the lights and the music came back on all at once. Faint woops could be heard from the basement over the music.

"Awesome." Grinning, Brock left Ash and Misty for the basement as quickly as he had rejoined them.

Misty turned to Ash. "Wanna go outside?"

* * *

"How come I've never seen you before?" Misty asked Ash once they got settled outside. "I assume you're here today because you're friends with Brock, but he and I usually go out together, so it seems weird that this is the first time I'm seeing you."

"Yeah, I'm here with Brock," Ash affirmed, "but I'm usually travelling, so I'm not in the city a whole lot."

"Travelling?" Misty inquired. "I take it you're a Trainer, then."

Ash grinned, taking on a new confidence. "Sure am."

"And I'm also gonna guess that electricity is your specialized Type, then," Misty said, gesturing to Pikachu as she did so.

"Surprisingly, no," Ash corrected. "I don't specialize in any Element. Pikachu's actually my only Electric."

He ruffled Pikachu's head, who responded with a delighted, "Chaa."

That really did surprise Misty. She never had met a witch or a warlock who didn't exclusively or at least almost exclusively train in their own Element. Then again, there weren't a lot out there that Misty had met. Most did a good job of hiding themselves anyway. Misty herself certainly only used Water Pokémon—she never even considered training other Types.

"How unusual," Misty said, too caught off-guard to form anything more profound to say.

"You think so?" Ash asked absently, either not catching on to how confused Misty seemed or too distracted by Pikachu, who was now in his lap. "I've just always loved all Pokémon, so I didn't feel a need to stick to one Type."

"But isn't it far easier to train Electrics for you?" Misty asked, trying to work it out in her mind. "I know that I feel a really strong bond with Water Pokémon that makes them way easier for me to train than it is for normal people."

"Nope. I feel connected to all Pokémon."

"How strange…"

She would think about it more later. Maybe do some research. She couldn't wrap her head around it, but there was something so sweet about the sentiment that Misty found herself focusing on that instead. Ash seemed just to love Pokémon, simple as that. She herself had fallen into it because of her family's Gym and then, subsequently, her ability. She often wondered if she would have ended up being a Trainer anyway, but it seemed obvious that Ash would have either way.

"Okay, well if you don't use your ability to your advantage with Pokémon, then what do you use it for?" Misty asked. "I can't imagine electricity bending is of much use beyond turning of the lights at a house party."

Ash suddenly got a smug look on his face. "Oh, you think so?"

Misty quickly backpedaled at the abrupt change in Ash's expression. "I don't know…"

"Usually if you said something like that, I would be obligated to let the prank wars begin," Ash said very seriously. "However, we just met, so I'm going to let it slide."

"Well, then how are you going to show me?" Misty asked, the challenge in her eyes.

Ash turned to Pikachu and the two seemed to communicate without saying a word. Finally he turned back to Misty.

"Are there any people at this party that you hate?"

Misty smiled wickedly. Let the games begin.

* * *

Ash and Misty went back inside and immediately began hunting out some of Misty's favorite people to hate. Not thirty minutes prior there had been a girl who had said, "Wow, Misty, too bad your tits couldn't join the party."

"Her name is Giselle and she's a total bitch," Misty described poignantly. "I hate her and you hate her too."

"Alright, alright, I hate her too," Ash said, having already figured out that it was always easier to just go with Misty on these types of things. "Where is she?"

"There she is."

She was in the basement with some lucky guy dancing on her. She was dressed as Wonder Woman, corset, skank-boots and all.

"Wow, she's prett—OW!"

He couldn't even get the word out before Misty was pulling his ear off of his head.

"No she's not, I hate her!" Ash babbled rapidly in an attempt to return his ear back to where it belonged.

Misty promptly let go of his ear and crossed her arms, smirking with an arched eyebrow. "Didn't I tell you?"

"Okay, okay," Ash said, rubbing his ear tenderly. "Now we wait.

They made their way to the dance floor, awkwardly returning their gaze to Giselle every few seconds. Luckily everyone else was doing their own thing, so no one noticed how they lingered and slowly crept toward her.

Once they had a good vantage point that wasn't too close and wasn't too far they began dancing together, having no other option. It could have been awkward, but whatever uncomfortable feelings they had at dancing with each other were canceled out by the equally awkward spying they were doing on Giselle.

Eventually, Giselle turned around to face the guy that had been grinding on her and Ash said, "Now."

Misty's eyes were glued on Giselle to see what would happen, but she didn't miss the soft yellow glow that was in her periphery. Giselle and the boy she was dancing with moved their faces towards each other but right before their lips met, they jerked back, as if stung.

As soon as the shock faded, Giselle's lips moved, presumably forming an apology as she brought her hand up to the guy's cheek comfortingly. The moment she pressed her hand against him, though, he reared back as if slapped.

The guy gave an annoyed face and walked away, presumably to find another partner and Giselle just looked confusedly down at her hands. Tentatively, she poked her index finger at a nearby pillar, yelping as she reflexively pulled her finger back and began sucking it.

Little did she know, that action was enough to entice a nearby guy to begin dancing on her and the cycle continued.

"Are you happy now?" Ash asked, a playful smile evident in his tone.

"Very," Misty replied. "Justice has never felt so sweet."

"Isn't that supposed to be sweet revenge?"

"No," Misty answered confidently. "This was justice."

Ash just chucked, shaking his head. "Anyway, that'll keep going for a few more minutes."

"Well-placed static electricity," Misty mused. "That is a fun little trick."

"I've got more up my sleeve than just that," Ash boasted, puffing his chest out a little. "But now I'd like to see what you can do."

Misty smirked. "Let's go upstairs."

* * *

"Okay, so typically I would find another bastard here to mess with but I think we can only hex so many people like that before we're terrorists," Misty explained as she scouted the floor. "So instead we're going to try a little something different."

"Teach me the ways of the Water witch, mistress," Ash said reverently, bowing his head slightly as Pikachu scrambled for balance on his shoulder.

"Mistress," Misty repeated, chewing on the word. "I like that. We'll keep it."

Ash sighed, regretting the word choice immediately.

"Anyway, we have our target."

"The genie or the douche without a costume?"

"Both."

As far as Misty could tell, Drew actually was wearing a costume. While it wasn't the extravagant garb that one would expect him to wear to a costume party, he was wearing a red shirt, black shorts and a red bandana, so…she guessed that he was dressed up as May to make fun of her. As per usual.

Still, she didn't correct Ash because he was at least half-right in his description.

"Hey, May, come over here."

It seemed May had stayed on the couch with Drew even throughout the hubbub of the blackout until now. Well, good for them. However, there was still a good foot in between the two of them, so Misty suspected nothing had happened.

Enter Water witch.

May smiled when she saw Misty and pushed herself up to her feet, teetering noticeably less than she had been a couple hours prior. "Hey, Mist!"

"Short for Mistress," Misty whispered under her breath to Ash.

"Kinky," he replied.

Misty had to fight the urge to elbow in his ribs and instead focused on May, who was now standing in front of them. "May, this is Ash," Misty introduced, saying his name through gritted teeth. "He's a friend of Brock's." Pikachu interjected a quick peep of its name. Misty quickly corrected her error. "And this is Pikachu."

"Cha," Pikachu said, thrusting out its paw before Ash even extended his hand.

"Happy to meet you both!" May exclaimed, reaching for Pikachu's paw, then for Ash. "Drew, come meet new people!" she called over to the faux-May, who was still sitting on the couch.

"Here it comes," Misty whispered to Ash, quiet enough so May couldn't hear.

May had turned around to face Drew and Drew was walking over to the four of them. Shifting slightly so that Misty's eyes were hidden by the back of May's head, she concentrated on creating a tiny puddle on the wooden floor of the room.

Misty kept her position behind May, but peeked her head out just a little bit so that she could see Drew. His foot reached the water and then skidded out from under him, thrusting him forward, right into May. Misty chose that moment to hold tight onto May's arms, bracing herself for the collision. Drew too reached for May, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders and his lips landing right on hers.

Having done her job of keeping May upright, Misty immediately dropped her grip on her, took Ash's hand in hers and bolted out of there. Sensing the new danger they were in, Pikachu leapt off of Ash's shoulder and went for the door, finding safety outside.

There was no doubt in Misty's mind that May would figure out exactly what happened and while Misty was sure they'd thank her for it someday, she was equally sure that today would not be that day. So it seemed easier to escape to the safety of the basement where there were enough gyrating bodies to keep the both of them more than well-hidden.

"Hide me," Misty said as she made for the wall at the far end of the room. She pressed her back against it and brought Ash forward against her so that she was invisible to just about anyone in the room. And Ash was wearing all black, so he blended right in in the low light.

"Do you think that they're going to come down here and try to find you?"

Misty shrugged. "It's a tossup. Either they're still kissing right now and will be for a while longer or they're already looking for us."

"So why'd you do that?" Ash asked.

"They've been going in this direction for a while now," Misty explained. "They're just stupid and stubborn and needed a little push."

"Or slip."

Misty chuckled. "Or slip," she amended.

As Misty laughed, she felt the vibrations of her body push her against Ash and she was acutely aware of how close they were standing to each other. Ash's body was practically pressed up against hers and his face was only inches away.

"Seems like we're playing a big part in a lot of kisses tonight," Ash observed, his voice suddenly lower and rougher.

"Seems like we are."

Maybe it was the slight liquid courage that was still coursing through her system or maybe it was the way that vivacious electricity seemed to radiate from him, but suddenly Misty had the impulse to create another kiss that night.

So she did.

She brought her hands up to Ash's unruly hair and pulled his head down so that his lips crashed on hers like Drew's had onto May. Ash bridged the gap between them as he was now pressing her into the wall as sparks seemed to dance around them, but not in the way that Giselle had suffered with.

No, this was like a spell. A beautiful hex they had cast on each other.

"Misty, I'm gonna kill you!"

Misty jumped as May's no longer inebriated-sounded voice pierced through the deafening music.

"Uh-oh."

"Wait, Misty, that's you?"

Another voice came through the din, making Misty turn to see Brock, who had clearly just been spying on the two of them.

"Yes, I was totally right! I knew you two would get together! Ladies, line up, because I am now a matchmaker extraordinaire," Brock declared to the party, which kept going as if he hadn't said a word.

"How do we get out of this?" Misty asked weakly as she looked between Brock, who was now behaving like an awkward dad and May, who was pushing her way through the crowd in record time.

Ash scratched his head in with a lost expression on his face. "Uh, I dunno. Man, I wish Pikachu were here."

That made Misty give Ash a sly smirk. "You know, I'm kinda glad he wasn't though."

Ash returned her smile. "Me too."

"New plan," Misty decided. "You're my meat shield."

"Good idea," Ash said as he allowed himself to be pulled back to her, "but I have a better one."

Just as the words left his lips, the lights in the basement suddenly winked out, causing mass hysteria except for one corner in the far side of the room.

Misty hummed her agreement against Ash's lips. Maybe she'd let electricity trump water just this once.

Not that she'd ever tell Ash that.

* * *

**A/N: **Maybe I'm sick, but I think that I totally wanted to have Ash and Misty use water and electricity together and accidentally kill someone and then they have to hide and it becomes a long multi-chap story. That would be so awesome! This is alright though. Only alright. Kinda weird world to plop these characters into, but hopefully you liked it. Tell me if you did, please! Sidenote, a number of the details of this party were totally inspired by real life events.

_Update: _I ended up wearing May's costume for Halloween this year, haha, funny how art mimics life, huh?


	9. Injury

**Summary**: I is for Injury

**Spoilers**: I guess for anything involving Chikorita.

**Pairing**: PokéShipping; Ash/Misty

**Disclaimer**: I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

* * *

It was an innocent mistake. She knew that he didn't blame her. He had said so to her and she was sure that he wouldn't lie. Besides, he knew how bad she felt and that had to count for something, right?

But as she watched him clutching his ribs upon entering the hospital she couldn't help but think that he might be keeping his distance for a little while. Or limiting their interactions to the video phone.

* * *

She was ecstatic. Truly she didn't remember the last time she was this happy. Finally Ash had chosen her to come back with him. Sure, she knew that it would only be for a little while but still, it had been so long since she had seen him in person that she couldn't help but let excitement fill ever fiber of her being.

And so here they were in Cerulean City, ready to take her on.

Oh yeah, Misty was going down.

Of course, Bayleef liked Misty well enough, but she knew how happy Ash got when he won a match. It was almost the same level of happiness that Bayleef was feeling right now about finally being back in Ash's party. And so Bayleef was going to make sure that Ash won this Battle, thanks to her.

Thanks to her and not thanks to Pikachu.

That was why she was out first. First and ready to beat the snot out of that Corsola. Bayleef knew that she had the Type advantage and with Ash backing her up there was no way that she could lose this first Battle. Then they would be in the lead and it would be all downhill from there for Misty.

Haha, sucks to suck.

Of course, she didn't know why they were at the Cerulean Gym. As far as she knew from Ash's other Pokémon, Ash had already beaten this Gym, and a long time ago to boot. So why bother challenging it again?

She decided to write it off to his love for battling. After all, that was about 5% of why she was so excited to be there—the other 95% going to just being happy to be with Ash again—so it seemed to fit for Ash as well. That and he seemed quite happy to be visiting Misty. In fact, he seemed to be battling a little different than usual.

He was still fighting hard—Bayleef couldn't deny that as she felt the recoil of a particularly hard Take Down reverberating through her body. But he was being more playful, talking to Misty as they battled. And it was more bantering than bickering. Maybe he'd just gotten more talkative.

It didn't matter. Bayleef was totally in the zone and totally applying herself to the task at hand. One more Razor Leaf and…Yes! That was it, Corsola was down and out.

"Nice work, Bayleef!"

She couldn't help it. Bayleef started bouncing up and down on the platform, rocking it to and fro in water. That maybe should have made her uncomfortable as she wasn't the strongest swimmer but she really just couldn't help it! She was so happy!

For a second. Then she heard the most terrible word.

"Return!"

Uh-uh. She did not want to return. So even though Ash had his PokéBall trained on her, she reared back and sprinted, jumping off the platform to land on the sidelines. She wasn't disobeying. She just wasn't going back into that PokéBall until the last possible moment.

"Uh, okay, Bayleef," Ash said uncertainly, tossing her a confused look.

Bayleef just sent her most charming smile back at him. Yeah, that oughta do the trick.

And so the Battle continued. It was six on six, so she was called out one more time. Shooting Ash pleading looks every time he was about to call out a new Pokémon proved to be quite the convincing argument.

Last was a Gyarados. Bayleef winced, knowing what would be coming once Misty sent the great beast out. Still, she was hoping…

She saw Ash and Pikachu look at each other and share a nod.

Nope.

"Go, Pi—"

Nope!

Bayleef again made a run for it. It was hard to get traction on the slippery pool tiles, but she managed and landed squarely on the platform. She was a little out of breath from the exertion, not to mention her previous two efforts in the Battle but this was it. She was going to win this Battle for Ash and Pikachu would just have to sit and watch and be jealous.

"Bayleef?"

"Bay bay!" Bayleef shouted, standing upright and determined.

"Um, alright then. Bayleef, use Sweet Scent!"

Bayleef raised the leaf on the top of her head as a pink mist began to appear from it, diffusing throughout the Gym.

"Don't think that you can get us that easy, Ash Ketchum! Gyarados, dive under water!"

Before Ash could give her another command, Bayleef leaned over the edge of her platform and dipped her leaf under the water, continuing the Attack. She really wanted this Gyarados pacified, if only a little; it would give her a fighting chance.

"Good idea, Bayleef!"

As the Gyarados swam under the water, approaching rapidly, but still, Bayleef could see that telltale sign in its eyes that told her that it was under her spell.

What she wasn't expecting was for the Gyarados to keep approaching her until his face was even with hers under the water. Reflexively she whipped herself out of the water and took hesitant steps backwards. Before she knew it, though, the Gyarados had rammed its head into her platform, causing her to slid right off the end, leaving her lower half in the water, and her front half scrambling for hold.

"Pull yourself up, Bayleef, you can do it!"

She could do it. Grunting as she strained to pull herself up she repeated the mantra. Ash told her that she could do it, she could do it.

Then she felt something strange.

And before she knew it, she felt reinvigorated and the new strength to pull herself back up.

"Whoa, Meganium!"

Meganium? Oh yeah, now there was no way that she could lose.

And she didn't.

She was exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. She saw Misty return the Gyarados, who had just made a big splash in the water by collapsing into it, and pocket the PokéBall.

Meganium expected Ash to jump onto the platform and do a victory dance with her. Or maybe help pull her from the platform and congratulate her by the pool as Pikachu sat alone on the elevated Battle platform. Or something at least.

But no. That's not what happened at all.

Meganium watched as Ash hopped off the Battle platform and walked along the edge of the pool to Misty's side, face falling all the while. Misty met him halfway and they embraced in a hug and…a kiss on the cheek. And then they were talking but still embraced in each other's arms.

Well, that was new.

And that just wasn't fair.

Tiredly, Meganium took advantage of her new, longer legs and hopped off of the pool platform and back onto the slick, slightly damp from the Battle, tile. She dejectedly began walking towards the two humans and Pikachu, who was still rested on Ash's shoulder.

"Meganium!" Ash finally said, stepping away from Misty and turning his attention to her. Her antennae perked up as she looked to him eagerly. "You were amazing and you evolved at the perfect time!"

"Meg!"

Forgetting completely about how tired she was, Meganium began running, a wide grin on her face. But then, before she knew it, a foot landed in a bit of water, sending her skidding on a straight trajectory into him.

"Ow!"

"Ash!"

"Pikapi!"

"Mega!"

Next thing she knew, Meganium was on top of Ash and Misty and Pikachu were struggling to pull her off of him as he lay sprawled dazedly on the floor.

"Ash, are you alright?" Misty asked desperately once Meganium managed to shift off of him.

"I'm fine," he grunted as he struggled to sit up. Then suddenly he clutched his ribs. "Ow! Okay, maybe not."

"We need to get you to the hospital," Misty said, draping on of Ash's arms around her shoulder so she could heave him up. "Meganium can Ash ride on you?"

Guilt immediately sprang into her chest as she saw Ash wincing in pain. "Meg," she answered, nodding fervently.

"No, I don't need to go to the hospital," Ash protested as he attempted to stand straight.

Misty, however, only scoffed. "Ash, it is way too early into our relationship for you to be dying on my Gym floor. In fact, I would prefer it if you never do that."

Unable to argue with that, or Pikachu lecturing him from Misty's shoulder, Ash somehow managed to wrangle himself onto Meganium's back.

And off to the hospital they went.

* * *

It was an innocent mistake. She knew that he didn't blame her. He had said so to her and she was sure that he wouldn't lie. Besides, he knew how bad she felt and that had to count for something, right?

But as she watched him clutching his ribs upon entering the hospital she couldn't help but think that he might be keeping his distance for a little while. Or limiting their interactions to the video phone.

Meganium berated herself. She had told herself repeatedly that this time would be different. No Tackles, no Take Downs unless they were aimed at other Pokémon.

And now she was even bigger. She was two feet taller and now as big as Ash was. Sure, maybe she had been charged by jealousy in the moment but that was no excuse for potentially permanently maiming her Trainer!

"Don't feel bad, Meganium," Misty said as the two, three of them counting Pikachu, who was being coddled in her lap, of them sat in the hospital waiting room. "I know that you love Ash just as much as I do. And that means that you would never hurt him on purpose."

"Meg," Meganium said sadly.

"Listen, Ash gets into scrapes all the time. He's used to stuff like this."

"Meg."

Misty didn't try to say anything more to comfort her. Instead she settled for petting her back, creating soothing patterns as she did so. It helped a little.

Finally Ash came back out and Meganium stood up immediately, causing Misty's hand to fly off of her back. He walked right over to Misty, and Meganium did her best not to feel crestfallen.

"Well?" Misty asked, the anxious look on her face countering the calm façade that she had been sporting before while comforting Meganium.

"It's just a really good bone bruise," Ash said. "Nothing's broken."

"Oh, thank Lugia," Misty said, relief intense in her tone.

Ash turned to Meganium. "And Meganium, you were fantastic today," he assured her. "Really amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better Battle against my new girlfriend."

And there it was. A wave of jealousy rippled through Meganium's being but she did her best to stifle it. Misty was a good person. And she would never Tackle Ash hard enough to bruise his ribs. And Ash deserved the best.

Meganium looked at Misty whose eyes were still shining with relief.

She would just have to learn to share.

Even with Pikachu.

* * *

**A/N:** Woop, crossed off two of my personal challenges with this story. One being a story from a Pokémon's point of view, thank you Bayleef, and the other being a story with the scenes out of order, a la appositive's _Oh, Paulie Pie. _Hilarious story for people who aren't avid IkariShippers. Anyway, wrote this is one sitting, essentially so I hope it works and you like it!


	10. Jealousy

**Summary**: J is for Jealousy

**Pairing**: PokéShipping, Ash/Misty; HandymanShipping, Daisy/Tracey

**Disclaimer**: I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

* * *

**Jealousy**

_Pipi_ had green eyes.

_Pipi_ had no fur, feathers, or scales; it was completely bald save for a little tuft of black hair on the very top of its head.

_Pipi_ was wearing a tiny pair of pants that were doing a poor job of disguising the saggy thing on its bum and a dumb shirt with an insulting caricature of a Pikachu on it. All of that equaled one thing.

It was a baby. _Pipi _was a baby. Out to ruin Pikachu's whole life.

Pikachu was not happy. More than that—he was actually pretty upset. Not jealous, though. He definitely wasn't jealous.

Mostly, though, he was confused. He didn't know how it had happened! It seemed like only yesterday he had been living the dream. It had been only he and _Pikapi_ and travelling and battling and it was all about them. Then _Pikachupi_ and come along and that had been alright. He'd always liked _Pikachupi_, and it was always fun to pair up with him against _Pikapi_. And if anything, he got more attention from _Pikachupi_ than _Pikapi_ sometimes. So there was no downside about having her around.

But this…this thing. This _Pipi _was here just to ruin everything.

And it seemed like yesterday because it had been only yesterday. _Pipi_ had been here less than a day and already Pikachu was sure that this was the beginning of the end.

_Pikapi_ was holding _Pipi_ and walking around with it, which would be fine, except Pikachu had been told that he wasn't allowed on _Pikapi's_ shoulder while this kind of ridiculous behavior was going on. So Pikachu was stuck sitting on the couch and glaring at _Pipi _like some kind of chump.

After about forever, _Pikapi _handed _Pipi_ over to _Pikachupi_. Pikachu perked up his ears and scampered off the couch and over to _Pikapi_. Surely now he could just take a flying leap and…

"Sorry, Pikachu," _Pikapi_ said, waving Pikachu off without even looking his way. "I have to get the baby's bottle."

Pikachu let his ears sag like _Pipi's_ diaper.

This was it. From now on there would be no more travelling. No more Battles. Pikachu would be stuck babysitting _Pipi_, in the dead end job as a house pet for the rest of his days. It was tragic, but Pikachu had no choice but to resign to it.

Or did he?

As Pikachu trudged back to the couch where Misty was holding _Pipi _and bouncing _Pipi_ on her lap, he suddenly stopped in his tracks, ears perking back up. He could choose to be the bigger Pokémon; be excited. Pikachu had always loved anything that _Pikapi _loved, and _Pikapi_ obviously loved _Pipi_. Why was this so different?

This was the right thing to do. And Pikachu always did the right thing.

* * *

He had been spit up on.

Pikachu had only gone up to _Pipi_ for a second, putting on his winning act of impressions and making funny faces and _Pipi_ had spit up on him. On his face. While his mouth had been open in a perfect impression of a Wobbuffet.

_Pikachupi_ had giggled at the "adorableness" of it and taken a handkerchief to Pikachu's face and smeared around the spit up a bit before returning her focus to the maliciously laughing _Pipi_.

Slightly blinded by spit up, Pikachu wandered to the bathroom and did his best to clamber up the toilet and then the sink, before soaping up his entire body and stealing some of _Pikapi's_ mouthwash.

After Pikachu finally finished cleaning himself—not that he thought he thought that he would ever feel clean again—he looked like a drowned rat. He did his best to dry himself off on the plush carpet as the towels were out of reach for him on the wall.

That was it. He wasn't jealous of the attention that _Pipi_ was getting. No, Pikachu was way past that. Pikachu was angry and, to be honest, pretty grossed out. No Pokémon had ever done something so disgusting. Not even a Garbordor.

How could _Pikapi_ love _Pipi_ more than Pokémon?

Well, Pikachu didn't understand it, but he would have to get over it. Because both _Pikapi_ and _Pikachupi_ seemed to be in that blissfully happy—happy enough to overlook spit up, at least—phase. And Pikachu couldn't mess with that. So he would have to just sit back and let someone else be the new favorite. Live out the end of his days as second best.

Or did he?

As Pikachu used a little bit of static electricity to dry off the rest of the way, he was sparked with an idea.

No. Pikachu did not have to leave his life up to fate and _Pipi_.

He had a plan.

* * *

_Pipi_ was asleep and _Pikapi_ and _Pikachupi_ were taking, what Pikachu assumed to be, a much needed break.

The plan began in the living room, where _Pipi_ was asleep in a stroller. _Pikapi_ and _Pikachupi_ had just gotten back from taking _Pipi_ on a stroll which had managed to finally bring _Pipi _rest. Thank goodness.

The stroller really was a lucky break, because Pikachu wasn't sure how he would have pulled off the plan had _Pipi _been asleep in a crib or a bassinette. Because those were quite heavy. And didn't have wheels.

Pikachu had already devoted a lot of energy towards propping the screen door open, not realizing until he had already tried many techniques that it had a mechanism on the bottom that could be adjusted to keep it open.

So now that that was done, all Pikachu had to do was take the stroller and push it to the mailbox and then…well, he wasn't sure how he'd get _Pipi_ in the mailbox, but he was sure there was a way.

Pikachu knew would be much easier if he just asked Bulbasaur for some help, but he didn't want to incriminate any of Ash's other Pokémon. He knew what he was doing was a pretty bad thing, but desperate times were desperate measures. And he couldn't have _Pipi_ taking over his life, he rationalized. He was not ready for this abrupt change. He hadn't even been told about _Pipi _until it had just showed up randomly today. Maybe had he had some warning it would be different.

It was a slow process, but finally Pikachu made it to the mailbox. Now that he was looking at it, he wasn't sure that _Pipi _would fit. Maybe he could get a stamp and just leave _Pipi_ by the mailbox and the mail carrier would understand?

"Um, Pikachu, what are you doing?"

The fur on Pikachu's back stood on end as he heard an unmistakable voice. He hesitantly turned around, whilst trying to slowly, subtly take his paws off the stroller—maybe _Pikapi_ wouldn't notice that he had been touching it. "Cha," Pikachu said as he clasped his paws behind his back and looked up at the air nonchalantly. That was sure to keep him from looking guilty. If only he could whistle…

"Pikachu," _Pikachupi_ said, drawing his attention to her. Pikachu's spirits dropped as he saw her wiggling around a walkie-talkie looking device at him. "We heard you. Baby monitor."

Oops.

"Pikachu, were you trying to, uh, mail the baby?"

Pikachu sweat-dropped. Could he lie to _Pikapi_? He didn't think so…

"Uh-huh," _Pikapi_ said, putting his hand on his chin. "Um, why?"

What could he say? That _Pipi_ was gross and smelled bad and got in the way and would ruin their whole lives? And that _Pipi_ had seemed to enjoy spitting up on him?

"Were you jealous?" _Pikapi_ asked.

No! Definitely not jealous. Pikachu cleared up that mistake with a vigorous shake of his head.

"Well, you don't have to worry, Pikachu," _Pikachupi_ said, crouching down so that she was more on his level. "Daisy and Tracey will be here to pick up the baby any second."

What?

Pikachu tilted his head and turned to Pikapi in confusion. "Chu pika _Pipi_ cha pi kachu pika chu?"

Suddenly _Pikapi_ burst out laughing which, unfortunately, woke _Pipi_ up and made it start crying.

"What did he say?" _Pikachupi_ asked as she stood up and picked up _Pipi_.

After _Pikapi_ managed to collect himself, he said, "Pikachu thought that the baby was ours!"

_Pikapi_ instantly cracked up again doubling over in hysterics and _Pikachupi_ quickly followed, whilst trying in vain to soothe _Pipi_. "Oh, Pikachu, you didn't notice that I haven't had a big pregnant belly for the last nine months?"

"Cha?"

"Pikachu, this isn't our baby!" Ash finally cried, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

_Pipi_…wasn't theirs?"

_Pikachupi_ was quicker to be sympathetic, taking one of Pikachu's paws in her hand. "Pikachu, this is Daisy and Tracey's baby. Remember? Ash and I are just babysitting. And furthermore," she sent Ash a critical look, "Ash and I are only 18. And hardly ready to be releasing our spawn upon the world."

_Pipi_ wasn't theirs. Pikachu had just been trying to mail away a random baby. Well, not exactly random, but still, this probably wasn't his most flattering moment.

Just then a car showed up, stopping short of the mailbox. A bubbly blond with green eyes—very similar to _Pipi's_—hopped out of the car and made a beeline for Misty.

"How's my little baby doing?" she asked in a baby-voice as she took _Pipi_ out of _Pikachupi's_ arms, hardly sparing her a look.

"Hi, Daisy," _Pikachupi_ said, trying to keep the surprise out of her voice.

"Oh, hey, Misty."

A man with dark green, almost black hair—very similar to _Pipi's_—came out of the driver's seat, going for the stroller, taking the diaper bag out of it and expertly folding it up.

"Hey, Tracey, you need help with that?" _Pikapi_ said, reaching to help with the stroller.

"Nope." Somehow he managed to keep holding the stroller, the diaper bag, and open the trunk of the car. Pikachu, _Pikapi_, and _Pikachupi_ all tilted their heads at him. Did humans get superpowers when they became parents?

Like a shot the parents were loaded into the car and out of there, taking _Pipi_ with them.

Thankfully.

Pikachu couldn't help it, but a wide smile spread on his face. Suddenly he felt himself being lifted up and placed on his familiar spot on _Pikapi's_ shoulder.

"Glad to see the baby gone, aren't you, pal?"

"Chaa," Pikachu mewled, as _Pikapi_ scratched his head.

"I'll let you two have a moment," _Pikachupi_ said as she headed back into the house.

_Pikapi_ didn't say anything for a minute, just kept on scratching his head and tousling his ears. "So…you were going to mail our baby away?"

Pikachu's ears drooped, the guilt weighing heavy on him. No, it wasn't his most heroic moment. "Chu…"

"You were that jealous?"

Well, maybe a little…

"Pika chu."

"Well, you won't have to worry about a baby again for a long," _Pikapi_ furrowed his brows, "long, long time. And by that time you'll be ready for it and excited. Right?"

Pikachu fist-bumped the air. "Pi Pikachu."

"Not for a long, long time," _Pikapi_ said more to himself. "I should go talk to Misty."

Then _Pikapi_ placed him on the ground and darted into the house and Pikachu was left shaking his head at him.

No baby for a long time. Good.

_Pikapi_ and _Pikachupi_ just weren't ready for that.

* * *

**A/N:** I know this is a second story from Pokémon's perspective in a row. I didn't mean to do that, but I just had no ideas/inspiration for a new chapter for this, so I went to a plot bunny word document that I have and found this idea and it seemed great for the requested theme of 'Jealousy.' So yeah. I know this isn't the best written thing ever and maybe it seems like it is OOC for Pikachu...But I hope you liked it.


	11. Kilogram

**Summary:** K is for Kilogram. As per requested by Martyn. Don't know if this is what you wanted, but here you go!

**Pairing:** Pokéshipping; Ash/Misty. Kinda.

**Rating:** K

**Genre:** Humor

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

* * *

"Um, yeah, that's not what you want."

Misty looked down at the screws and springs and various other hardware that had popped off of what used to be the scale in her bathroom. Why had she entrusted Ash with the simple task of stepping on something?

Ash was rubbing the back of his neck. "Guess I need to lose a little weight, huh?" he said with an awkward chuckle.

"No," Misty said, shaking her head, still mourning the loss of her scale. "It was old. You might have gained a few pounds, but that's not enough to break a scale."

Ash turned to Misty, wide-eyed. "I-I was kidding!" He then stuck his stomach out and started poking at it. "You think I'm fat?"

Oops.

"No, no, no," Misty back-pedaled. "You're not fat. Just…uh…building up storage?"

Ash sent her a sour look. "And you were just going to sit back and let me be fat?"

"You're not fat," she repeated.

"Am too," Ash grumbled.

"Are not."

"Am too."

"Are not!"

"Am too!"

"No, you are not!" Misty yelled, growing exasperated. She put her hand over his mouth before he could even try to argue. "You just haven't been travelling so much lately, so you haven't been burning as many calories."

"And, therefore, I've been getting fat," he mumbled through her hand.

Misty pointedly ignored him and said, "But if you want to lose weight, I can help you."

Ash's eyes shone. "You can?"

"Of course," Misty said, puffing out her chest and flexing an arm. "I think I'm pretty lean, don't you?"

"Well…"

Ash took a hesitant poke at her arm and shrugged before narrowing in on her stomach. He was about to give that a good poke but then Misty grabbed his finger and bent it backwards. She used her other hand to grab his face and bring it level to hers. Then with a growl: "I don't think you want to do that." She gave his already throbbing finger a threatening twist. "Unless you wanna see how strong my triceps actually are."

Ash gave her a strained smile and managed to squeak out, "When do we start?"

* * *

"Okay, Ash," Misty began as she paced along the side of the pool, "cardio is the best way to lose weight, so you're going to do fifty laps in this pool without stopping, got it?"

Ash, for his part, sweat-dropped. "Uh, Misty, why do you have that stick?"

While Misty was giving her speech, she had a short club of sorts that she was smacking in her hand to an uncertain beat. "I don't know," she said finally, giving the stick a good look. "It just seemed to fit the part."

"Um, okay," Ash said, unconsciously sinking a bit further into the water. "And, uh, how many laps did you want me to do?"

"Fifty," Misty answered with a particularly punctuated slap of the stick.

"You meant that?" Ash asked, trying not to flinch at the stick. She could smell fear.

"Of course I did."

"Oh. I thought you meant do fifty laps like, Ash, do a million laps!" he said, his voice pitching higher as he pretended to slap a stick in his hand. "You, heh, actually want me to do fifty?"

"Without stopping."

"Without stopping…Yeah, see, I thought that we'd start with some pace, you know, build up to a crazy number like fif…"

He trailed off as he noticed Misty's expression not changing.

"Right. Okay." Ash then took a deep breath and began swimming.

It was about five laps before Ash's body suddenly stopped moving and his body floated to the surface of the pool. Misty's eyes widened and she immediately tossed her stick and dove into the pool and swam over to him.

"Ash! Ash are you okay?" Misty asked as she hurriedly flipped his body upright. "Talk to me, Ash!"

Right away Ash opened his eyes and flashed Misty a cheeky grin. "Oh, good. You were starting to go all drill sergeant on me there. I just wanted to make sure that you actually cared still."

"Oh, Ash," Misty said, flushing and looking down at the water. Or maybe how close they were.

For a second.

Then there was a very loud slap.

Misty trod to the nearest wall. "Fifty laps," she commanded as she hoisted herself up.

"But I already did five," Ash whined as he held his now very pink face. Well, pink on one side.

"No, I don't remember that," Misty put a finger to her mouth as though in though. "Nope. Fifty laps. Without stopping."

He decided it was best to do what she said…before she decided to turn her slap into the stick.

* * *

Day five of the mistreatment was well underway.

He had thought that day one would be the worst. The shock of how much she was making him do and then him actually having to go and do it was quite the double-whammy.

But he had been wrong. Oh boy, had he been wrong.

Day two put day one to absolute shame. Because there was all the work from day one but now paired with the residual muscle ache. He had been left walking with a limp.

"Come on, Ash, you've lost a kilo already. Only a few more to go. Let's go!"

By day five he was resigned. This was his load in life and all he could look forward to was sweet death. "Okay, Misty."

"Ash, my Water Pokémon are swimming laps around you!"

Ash could have face-faulted, had he not already been horizontal in the water. "Yeah, because they're Water Pokémon!" he shouted indignantly.

"Hmm, details," Misty said simply, waving him away. "Anyway, you'll have to race against Seel tomorrow."

That gave Ash pause. "B-But Seel knows Aqua Jet!"

Then Misty painted on a smile that would put a Gengar's to shame. "Exactly."

* * *

Foe Seel used Aqua Jet!

It was super effective!

Foe Misty used Double-Slap!

Critical hit!

Ash fainted.

* * *

"Okay, today is abs day," Misty announced, grunting as she pulled out a mat that was about twice as big as her. "Abs are important for alignment when doing any kind of exercise and, of course, they keep your stomach looking flat. If you're at your ideal weight but have flabby abs your stomach still won't look good."

Ash nodded along, following her well so far.

"So we're going to do a twenty minute ab routine."

And that was where he fell off. "Uh, twenty minutes? Like twenty minutes of straight sit-ups?"

Misty laughed. "No, sit-ups are the easy part and only about thirty seconds." Her eyes suddenly went evil. "The rest is far harder."

Ash gulped. "Alright."

"Now get on the mat."

It turned out that the easy part wasn't so easy. The buzzer for thirty seconds went off and surprisingly few sit-ups had been accomplished. Actually, only a solid seven.

"Stop!" Misty shouted, slapping the buzzer off and running an irritated hand through her hair. "Clearly this isn't going to happen. So we're going to take our time with each step instead of going on to the next move after thirty seconds, okay?"

"Is it going to take less than twenty minutes?" Ash squeaked.

"No. It's going to take a lot more."

Ash sighed. "Oh…Great."

Misty rolled her eyes. "But maybe I'll give you little rewards in exchange, okay?"

Ash's eyes lit up. "Rewards‽ Like what?"

"Do twenty sit-ups and I'll flash you."

Ash looked scandalized. "W-What?"

Oh right. This was Ash.

Misty tried again. "I said, if you do everything I tell you to—starting with twenty sit ups—we can have a Pokémon Battle."

"Oh!" Ash said, looking like a kid on Christmas. "Then let's go!"

Suddenly, Ash was a lot better at sit-ups.

* * *

"But you promised! You promised!" Ash whined, bouncing up and down as he tailed Misty.

"Keep jumping like that and you'll lose all the kilos you want," Misty ascertained. "So maybe I won't."

"But I did all my sit-ups!"

Eventually Misty gave in, mostly because Ash's whining wasn't his most attractive trait. So she led him to the Battle Arena—a different pool than the one that had become his torture chamber and her own little zoo of sorts—and they got their Battle underway.

Since Pikachu wouldn't battle—of course—Ash sent out Squirtle against Misty's Goldeen.

It proved to be a decent match-up—Squirtle's shell proving to be a good defense against Goldeen's horn and Goldeen outmaneuvering Squirtle underwater.

Which meant that it was a dead-heat and a long, _long_ Battle.

Misty noticed Ash take his hat off and wipe his brow and give himself a good shake.

"Tiring out there, Ash?" Misty asked smugly. She, of course, was feeling fine.

"Not at all!" he shouted back.

"You know, you'd have better endurance if you were more in shape!"

"Well, at least I have a shape!"

Misty let out an offended gasp. Ooh, he was gonna get it. "Azurill, come here and do me a favor!"

As Azurill scampered over to Misty, the Battle continued, Goldeen now on the defensive, but still landing the odd Attack. In the meantime, Misty whispered something to Azurill, who upon hearing the request pranced out of the room.

"Goldeen, use Aqua Ring!" Misty said, putting her full focus back into the Battle.

The Aqua Ring struck, but from a distance and it wasn't very effective. Squirtle easily shook it off and came back with a Bubble Attack that Goldeen could largely pop with its horn.

Needless to say, the Battle continued on its track to nowhere.

Until an odd waft began pervading the Gym.

Ash gave a few very audible sniffs. "What's that?"

"That?" Misty gave an odd smirk. "I don't smell anything. Goldeen, Supersonic!"

Ash, however, still had his nose in the air. "No, Misty, I definitely smell something. What is it?"

"Horn Attack!" Misty shouted the Attack and then put a finger to her chin in mock-pondering. "Hmm, well I guess there might be one thing."

Meanwhile, Squirtle was floundering. He was swimming aimlessly around, seeking commands from his Trainer, but by and large the best thing he could do was put on his best defense and maybe give the occasional Scratch when Goldeen got too close.

"What?" Ash asked as he continued to sniff. "It smells like…kind of like…"

Just then Azurill came in, trying as best it could to balance a tray of steaming something on its round tail.

"Cookies!"

A sharp juxtaposition to Ash's eager face—now full of cookies—and Azuril's happy-go-lucky chirping, Misty's smile broke into something sinister. Of course his weakness was food.

Poor Squirtle hadn't stood a chance.

That would teach him.

* * *

Misty was exhausted. Training Ash was no easy gig. He was a much better Trainer than trainee.

Today had been particularly tiring, as she had had to demonstrate more than one move to him. Multiple times. Boy was sweet as sugar, but he sure didn't catch on quick. And additionally, Ash had reached somewhat of a plateau, not losing any more weight, and she was at a loss. So she had decided that she owed herself a little midnight snack tonight. Just a little something to tide her over and stave off insanity.

So in her pajamas, she padded down the stairs, careful to keep from making any noise. She opened the freezer, hoping to reward herself a little bowl of ice cream.

But there was none in there.

Actually, there was nothing in there.

Confused, Misty then reached up to open the doors of the refrigerator, finding it near empty as well; only a couple slightly bruised apples and the eternally present corner of condiments.

Now truly baffled, Misty whipped open every cabinet and found each one empty.

"What happened to all the food‽"

_Of course his weakness was food._

Misty subsequently slapped herself on the forehead.

…Well, that was a stupid question.

* * *

On the kitchen counter was a delicious array of cakes, pastries, ice cream, cookies, and candy.

Ash was salivating onto the floor.

"What's all this for, Misty?" he asked eagerly.

He got no reply. Well, no verbal reply, as Misty just smiled—her evil smile, not the normal one. Ash had become very well-versed in the difference—and swept all of the sweets cleanly into a garbage bag.

Ash reflexively gasped, only to end up choking and coughing on a good amount of spit that he had inhaled.

Misty didn't seem to notice.

"Okay, now it's diet time," she said, clapping her hands together cheerfully.

"D-Diet time?" Ash asked, still choking slightly, the word sounding taboo on his lips. "You mean for you, right?"

Misty replied with a solid kick to the shins. "I don't like that implication, Ash Ketchum. And no. I mean for you."

"But why do I need a diet?" he cried.

Misty paused. "Because you're trying to lose weight," she deadpanned.

"Oh."

"So here."

Misty took a shiny red apple and placed it in Ash's hand. He looked at it confusedly, twisting it and rolling it upside-down.

"You eat it."

Ash tilted his head at her. "But I thought that apples came in little slices that were mostly white. Not red."

Misty slapped her forehead and gave a little moan of despair.

"That's how my mom always gave them to me."

Thanks for the self-sufficient son, Delia.

"Fine, let me get a knife," Misty said, shaking her head.

Ash sweat-dropped. "No, that's okay!" he shouted, still feeling the reminder of the ache in his shins. "I can do it." He ran to get a knife and kept it far from Misty before beginning to slice the apple. He grunted with the effort as he put all his weight on the knife before getting that satisfying slice, panting at the effort, "No wonder people who eat fruit are so thin."

But as he gave the apple a perpendicular slice, he gasped, eyes shining.

"Hey, now it looks like how my mom made it!"

Misty was at a loss for words, so all she could do was pat Ash on the back. "Good job, kid, good job."

* * *

Okay, Operation Midnight Snack, attempt number two.

This time Misty was sure that she would be successful.

Since Ash was on a diet, she had had to put herself on a diet as well, since there could now only be healthy food in teeny-tiny quantities in the house. And now she was simply dying for just a few bites of sweet indulgence.

She had bought one single cupcake and had hidden it on top of the refrigerator in a creepy little Santa porcelain cookie jar that Misty didn't know why they hadn't killed with fire years ago.

She guessed that it had been waiting to fulfill its life's destiny at just this moment.

With a stretch and a reach, she plucked it from the top of the fridge and morbidly screwed the smiling head off. Not the hat, which would have felt more acceptable, but Santa's actual head.

She would definitely be getting coal this year.

But, oh, would it all be worth it for this one amazing cupcake.

Or at least it had better be amazing. She paid $5.45 for it, stupid corporate conglomerate…

The cupcake wasn't in the creepy Santa's stomach.

She dropped it but the porcelain didn't break. Apparently creepy Santa was supposed to live on forever.

But…what was that smell?

It was faint, but she could smell the slight hint of vanilla coming from somewhere in the kitchen. A slight whiff of sticky sugar was all she needed before she began stalking her prey. She was on the trail like a Luxray searching for a meal.

Her trail led her to behind the counter where she was met by a dumb boy shoving his ugly face with her cupcake, wolfing the last of it down.

"Ash! You're on a diet!" She paused new fury in her. "And that's my cupcake!"

And no one knew greater fury than a Misty scorned—from having her cupcake stolen.

With one great smack laid upon his cherub cheek, the poor Ash Ketchum couldn't taste for a week.

* * *

Misty lacking sleep is one thing.

Misty hungry is another.

Misty having her one true love, the cupcake, stolen is probably the worst.

But all three equaled an unparalleled monster.

"Okay," Misty grumbled, the one word enough to send Ash cowering and holding his cheek, "obviously me giving you that diet wasn't enough for you to behave like a normal person, so now I have no choice but to bring in the big guns."

"G-Guns?"

Misty nodded. She turned her head and gave a throaty shout: "Ladies."

And in came three tall, beautiful ladies in army swat gear.

And heels.

"Like, hi, Ash!" they said in scary unison.

And Ash knew this would be the end of his life.

* * *

His legs hurt.

His arms hurt.

His abs hurt.

His butt hurt.

That hot yoga class had been probably the worst thing to happen to him in his entire life. And as his reward for having successfully destroyed his muscles, Violet had presented him with:

A bowl of grass.

Okay, it wasn't grass, but it was a salad. With no dressing. He figured it was the kind of meal that was better suited in a field where a Miltank could peacefully graze on it before starting up a killer Rollout Attack and knocking the Sensational Sis…

No, that was a little too far.

"How are you enjoying the salad, Ashy? The mandarin oranges give the spinach, like, a nice sweetness, right?"

Ash just grumbled. He hated being called Ashy.

"And the cleanse is, like, making you feel more energetic, right?"

Oh yeah, that was the other lovely touch. The sisters had not put him on a diet, oh no, that would have been too kind. No, they had put him on a seven day cleanse. And they were lucky that it was not making him feel more energetic, because otherwise he would jump right out of his chair and throw Pikachu at them, letting them snuggle his poor friend until he had no choice but to electrocute the…

No, that was too cruel to Pikachu.

But the fact that Pikachu was sitting there at the table and able to eat his normal PokéChow was enough for Ash to think that maybe the little mouse had it coming too.

Ash managed to choke down the last little bit of yard clippings and went to get out of his chair, pushing himself up with his arms as he felt every single muscle in his legs reminding him of their ripped presences.

"I'm going to go take a nap," Ash announced, walking unevenly towards the stairs.

Ah yes, sleep, perchance to dream of ripping out the sisters' hair with his spinach-strong arms.

Misty would be proud.

* * *

Glory, halleLugia, it was the last day of the cleanse and there was only a half a kilo left to lose. The finish line was so close he could taste it. And it tasted like a cheeseburger, or maybe pancakes, or country fried steak, or cookies, or…

"You're really growing to like these salads, aren't you, Ash?" Lily asked, eying the drool that was trying to make its way out of Ash's mouth.

Ash immediately wiped his mouth with is hand, earning a grimace from Lily, and took another bite of his salad. Hopefully his last one ever.

He honestly didn't think he would even be able to look at Grass Pokémon after this. He looked down at the mushrooms on this salad. A Shroomish would never be the same.

Suddenly, Misty came waltzing through the room, looking pretty damn pleased with herself.

"How's the salad, Ash," she asked, coming to rest a patronizing hand on his shoulder.

But…what was that smell?

Immediately, Ash began sniffing. Misty pulled away, but Ash was drawn toward her like she had some magnetic force about her.

"Did you," sniff, sniff, "eat," sniff, sniff, "_pizza_?"

Misty reeled back, Ash way too far into her personal space. "Uh…no?"

Ash eyed her suspiciously continuing to be drawn closer and closer to her. "Then why do you smell like cheese?" Sniff, sniff. "And garlic?" Sniff, sniff. "And tomatoes?" Sniff, sniff. "And…"

By this point, Ash was mere millimeters away from her mouth, gazing at it hungrily. And before he knew what he was doing…

"Mmph!"

His lips were on top of hers, desperately trying to taste all of the delightful pizza from which he had been neglected.

Oh, pizza.

A beautiful ballet of flavors leaping magnificent saut de chats and grand jetés across his tongue before coming together as one on his taste buds. The depth of flavor of the meaty tomatoes, oven roasted and reduced into a thick, shiny sauce turning pirouettes over his mouth and providing the perfect bed for the soft, mild cheese. _Mozzarella_. So white and innocent; pure as an angel and vital as a heart in its role in the dance. And they both come to rest in their deep final bow on the crisp yet flakey edges of a perfect crust, rolled with love and care by those who know what pizza really is. For pizza is God and pizza is home within all of us as we wander through this sometimes cold, cruel world, providing us with…

And then he realized what he was doing.

Suddenly the world was the world again and pizza was nothing but brilliant sustenance and Misty was Misty and her lips were…oddly soft and entrancing, but nevertheless, something that usually crafted words with the deftness of a sword with which to strike Ash. Repeatedly.

He pulled away roughly and abruptly, leaving Misty falling forward and Ash making no effort to grab her. Rather he backed away shakily, pointing his fingers between Misty and her sisters, all of whom were now conveniently in the room. "Y-You. A-And you." He continued to back up, shaking his head. "No, no, no, no."

"What's wrong, Ashy?" Daisy asked with the lilt of tease in her voice.

Finally words came back to him and he stood his ground. "Diets make you do crazy things!" he shouted. "And I don't want to be like you! I'm outta here!"

And he dashed out, probably making a run to a pizza store. Unless he never returned to one again, which was equally likely. We'll never know.

Misty, on the other hand, was standing quite still, the pads of her fingers pressed to her lips and new thoughts pressing their way into her mind. There was a loose fluttering in her stomach; the pizza not sitting right, perhaps?

As she finally pulled her hand away from her mouth, selectively ignoring the high-pitched chattering around her, one thought continued to cycle through her brain.

_What the hell had just happened?_

She wasn't sure. But she was pretty sure that she liked it.

* * *

**A/N:** Review response to _Nami_, yes, I know the last chapter was confusing, but it was necessary for the POV. Sorry about that. I'm glad you liked the chapters and thank you!

This chapter ended up weird, a series of vignettes, obviously. Some of these scenes were inspired from various sitcom episodes on this topic from _Friends, How I Met Your Mother_, and _Reba_. I hope that you liked it, despite how disjunct it was. Sorry it didn't have so much Pokéshipping, but I was going for a specific genre here. Hope it delivered and you thought it was funny!


	12. Literature

**Summary:** L is for Literature. Suggested by reppad98

**Pairing:** All of the ships! Pokéshipping, Ash/Misty; ContestShipping, Drew/May; RocketShipping, Jessie/James; HandymanShipping; Tracey/Daisy; Ritchie/Serena; LuckShipping, Brock/Lucy. Just mentioned or implied: AppealShipping, Dawn/Zoey; CavalierShipping, Gary/Dawn; PearlShipping, Ash/Dawn; IkariShipping, Paul/Dawn; AdvanceShipping, Ash/May; GymShipping, Brock/Misty; EgoShipping, Gary/Misty; PalletShipping, Ash/Gary, etc.

**Rating:** T

**Genre:** Humor/Romance (a little bit crackish. Just a smidge.)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Pokémon franchise. This story is merely for entertainment.

* * *

**Literature**

_RING RING RING, RING RING RING, PHONE CALL, PHONE CALL, RING RING RING—_

"Ash, sweetie, can you get that?"

Ash groaned at the sound of his mother's voice booming over the sound of her hairdryer—and that inane ringtone. He cast his comic to the side and ran to the phone, Pikachu trailing along behind him.

"Hello?" Ash said when he finally reached the machine.

"Ash? Oh, good, you're home."

The screen flickered to life and Ash could see Tracey standing in the Professor's lab looking somewhat frazzled.

"Of course I'm home," Ash deadpanned. "You saw me yesterday."

"No, I meant that you're in your home and not out training or anything," Tracy babbled. "Anyway, big news. You and Serena come over to the lab right away, uh, please; everyone's already here."

"What do you mean _everyone's already here_?"

"I mean, _everyone_," Tracey emphasized. "You're last."

Ash frowned. "Well, you called me last!"

"Yeah, well that was because I called people by distance so that everyone would arrive at as similar a time as possible, so since you're the closest, other than Gary and I, of course, then naturally—"

"Tracey!" Ash cut him off, throwing a hand up in the air. "I'm coming."

Ash hung up the phone without waiting for a response and quickly slid on his shoes whilst sticking his arms through his jacket. Pikachu dragged over his hat and carried it up to Ash's shoulder, where he plopped it off-kilter onto Ash's head.

"Ash, honey, who was that?"

"Tracey, Mom! Going to the lab! Bye!"

"Okay! Bye, honey! Be safe!"

Ash was just getting ready to sprint out the door when Pikachu tapped his cheek and started chattering about something.

"What? What did I forget?"

Pikachu turned his hands into a hat and batted his suddenly long eyelashes.

Ash's eyes sparked with recognition. "Oh, right! Serena, we're going to the lab!" he called.

"Ash, I'm right here," Serena said as she came out of the living room, putting her hat on. "No need to shout."

"Okay, then let's go!"

Ash all but ran out the door, leaving Pikachu to throw Serena an apologetic expression as she threw her shoes on and sprinted to catch up.

"Ash! Slow down!" Serena huffed.

"Sorry, can't!"

And he really couldn't.

He hated being last.

* * *

"Woah."

Ash nodded, agreeing with Serena's sentiment as they followed the noise in the Professors house to where everyone was.

Tracey had been right when he had said that everyone was there, because _everyone_ was there. Brock, Misty, Gary, Drew, May, Ritchie—and those were only the unobstructed heads. They were piled into the Professor's main research room. The big one with the huge screen laptop and various other machinery scattered about. It looked like a space age dinner party.

Minus the food. Which Ash couldn't help but be very disappointed about.

Ash and Serena immediately joined Brock and Misty. Not just because they were his best friends, but because they were the closest and it seemed like it would be a lot of work to get to anybody else.

"Hey, guys, do you know what this is all about?"

"Hi, Ash!" Misty chirped excitedly. "And, Serena, right?"

"Yes," Serena replied, politely putting her hand out. "Nice to finally meet you, Misty."

"Likewise. Anyway, nope, not a clue what's going on," Misty said. "Tracey's been glued to that screen since we got here. Even Gary doesn't know what's up."

"Well, that must be upsetting for him," Ash said with a smirk, glancing toward his ex-rival's spiky head, which was poking its way up in the crowd.

"No more than it is for the rest of us," Brock reasoned. "The last time so many of us were together was when we took down Team Plasma."

"Not true," Misty interjected. "The last League was after that."

"But this is the most of us ever, because Serena's here!" Ash added. "All of you would have met her earlier in Kalos, but we didn't need any help taking out Team Flare. They were a joke, right Serena?"

"Right," Serena agreed with a giggle.

"Yo, Tracey," Ash heard Gary shout above the din. "Ketchum's here, so let's get this show on the road, eh?"

Tracey looked up abruptly from the screen (although it was looking to the side, rather than up, since the screen literally went all the way up to the ceiling) and blinked, as though coming out of a daze. "Oh, didn't even notice. Sorry. Okay, gather around."

Everyone comically shuffled around as best they could so that everyone could see as much of the computer screen as possible. The new configuration revealed that Max, Dawn, and Zoey were also there.

"Man, guess we're lucky that the Grand Festival's in Kanto this year, huh?" Ash said as he noted all the coordinators.

"Yeah, anyway, I stumbled upon something on the internet—"

"You finally discovered porn?" Gary interrupted. He walked up and gave Tracey a hearty pat on the back. "I'm proud of you, man."

"Hey!" May frowned, daringly swatting Gary upside the head and gesturing to Max. "There are young ears in the room."

Brock stepped closer to Ash—if that was even possible, as everyone was standing, at most, shoulder to shoulder—and cupped a hand to his mouth. "She knows he's fourteen, right? He's definitely seen porn before."

Ash frowned. He didn't like thinking about that.

"_Anyway_," Tracey continued, doing his best to command attention as he clicked a button so dozens of rectangles appeared on the enormous screen.

"Woah, what are all of those webpages?" Gary asked, taking a step closer. "Articles?"

Ash was relieved to see Gary's brow furrowing as he clearly put on his scientist hat. He knew that Gary liked to give Tracey a hard time, but honestly, Ash preferred the evolved Gary to his bro persona.

Not because bro-Gary had been a threat to Ash, though! Ash could have taken him any day!

"No," Tracey said, clicking on one of the rectangles and flooding the screen with a page of words. "Fiction, not non-fiction."

"Wait," Misty drawled, pointing to the screen. "I see my name there."

"Yes. A unique brand of fiction called _fan_-fiction. And what I've stumbled upon today—and called you all here for—is thousands upon thousands of stories written about us."

Everyone suddenly began talking all at once. There were cries of indignation, confusion, disgust, and more that were swallowed up by the overall chatter.

Pikachu covered his sensitive ears, mewling at all the loud noise his cheeks began sparking, which Ash noticed right away, as it was hot on his ear and beginning to char his hair.

"Pikachu…" Ash warned, trying to bring his friend back to reality. "Pikachu calm down."

Ash plucked Pikachu off his shoulder, holding him at arm's length as he continued to try to comfort the mouse.

"No," Ash heard Tracey say clearly through the hubbub. "No, not around the equipment!"

Tracey's words turned into a scream as he hopped up from his swivel chair and snatched Pikachu out of Ash's arms right as electricity shot out of his body. Ash, and everyone else reflexively shielded themselves, but it was unnecessary, as all of the Attack went right to Tracey.

"Pikachu, stop!"

Abruptly, Pikachu stopped and blinked, looking as though it was waking up. It caught sight of Tracey—who was well-browned and twitching with aftershocks—and chaa-ed guiltily, hopping back to Ash's arms, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.

"O-Okay," Tracey stuttered, his entire body more or less paralyzed. "Thanks for getting everyone's attention, Pikachu."

Tracey creakily made it back to his seat and flopped down, unable to control how it began to spin around. Gary awkwardly stepped forward again and righted the chair, adjusting Tracey's body so that he was properly sitting in it.

"Okay, now where were we?" Tracey began again as the paralysis began to wear off. "Ah yes, fan-fiction. Written about us by people who somehow seem to think that they know us."

"How is that possible?" Max asked as he pushed his glasses up and squinted at the words on the screen.

"I don't honestly know," Tracy answered. "It could be people using our relative levels of fame to trick themselves into thinking that they know us. Or it could be, I don't know, another dimension. Or maybe people that we actually know writing stories about us and not bothering to change our names."

Max frowned seemingly unhappy with that answer. "Well, how do you even know that these are about us? It could just be people with our names."

"There's too many for it to be coincidence," Tracey answered, clicking the screen again so that the dozens of rectangles returned. "These are just the ones that I've already looked into and while there are glaring inaccuracies, there's too many straight facts for these to be coming originally from someone's mind."

"Well," Ash started, speaking up to get everyone's attention. "I think the important question really is: what do they say?"

Everyone began chattering again, though this time it was a low rumble of agreement coursing throughout the room.

"Yeah," Dawn piped up. "If people are writing about me, I want to know what they have to say."

Tracey sweat-dropped, abruptly minimizing everything on the screen. "I'm actually not so sure about that."

"Why not?" Dawn asked.

"Well…see…most of the stories are romance. They're about who ends up with whom."

Suddenly everyone in the room was eyeing each other, varying uncomfortable looks on everyone's faces. Ash glanced at Serena who was looking straight down at the floor, but he swore that he saw a blush beginning to color her cheeks.

"Like…romance-romance?" May finally asked in a squeak, clearly working hard to look straight ahead, avoiding both Drew's and Max's faces as the question colored her cheeks as well.

Now, Ash didn't know what the difference was between romance-romance and romance, but clearly Tracey did, because while he was facing the screen, it was still easy to see the tips of his ears reddening. Clearly today was going to be an embarrassing day for everyone. Ash sighed.

Why couldn't it just be an embarrassing day for Gary?

"Uh," Tracey cleared his throat, as it suddenly sounded dry and tight, "there does seem to be some romance-romance, but it's in a rating that doesn't show up upon first search. So mostly just normal romance."

Gary narrowed his eyes at Tracey. "So you're saying that you did go the extra mile and find stories of us doing the nasty with each other."

"No, no, no!" Tracey finally turned around and waved his hands wilding at Gary. "I only glanced at one and that was more than enough to get the gist, trust me."

Ash grimaced. Oh no. Brock had told him that the internet was filled with perverts and now he knew what he had meant. Oh, Mew, that was just gross. Someone writing about him and someone else…just ew.

"Tracey, let's just get on with it," Misty interjected. "What do the not X-rated ones say? Explain this other world to us."

"Okay, well it seems as though they have their own vocabulary. Words like _fandom_ and _ship_ and _canon_ and abbreviations like _AU_, _OTP_, _OC_, _OOC_, _SI_…" Tracey was now reading off of a document of his own on which he had pasted all of these terms and definitions. Apparently he had been studying this all day. At least.

"I've heard of a ship before, Tracey," Mister interrupted again. "But what does it have to do with this?"

"It's not a ship like the type you're familiar with, Misty. A ship is a pairing, that people like and thus write about."

"A pairing?" Ash asked.

"You know, a couple. It seems that every single possible pairing has been written about and has a specific 'ship name' but some are very popular."

"Popular?" Dawn asked, perking up. "Like what?"

"Uh," Tracey turned slowly to Dawn. "Again, I'm not sure you want to know."

Dawn eyed him suspiciously. "Why? Who am I paired with?"

"Shipped, with, actually…"

"Don't try to distract me, just tell me!"

"Well, it's called IkariShipping…"

"But _who's it with_?"

"…Paul."

The room was shocked silent, everyone turning to look at Dawn, who was now bright red, though whether it was with anger or embarrassment was unclear. Finally she stalked over to the computer and snatched the mouse out of Tracey's hand. "Let me see that. Show me an example."

"Well, this is the only one I have up of you and Paul," Tracey began slowly, sliding his fingers under Dawn's grip on the mouse to direct her. "It is kinda the opposite of IkariShipping, though…kind of a joke. I just thought it was funn—" Tracey trailed off as Dawn glared at him. "It's called _Oh, Paulie Pie_, written by someone called, um, _appositive_."

The story came up on the screen, big enough so that everyone in the room could read it. Everyone looked very confused until they got to something called the A/N at the end, which Tracey explained stood for _author's note_. After reading that, Drew burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, that was hilarious," Drew burst out. "I can literally imagine that happening."

"You've only met Paul once," Dawn snapped at him.

"Believe me, that was more than enough," May mumbled under her breath.

"And I seem like an idiot in this!" Dawn cried, clearly more enraged than embarrassed at this point.

"That was sort of a unique story," Tracey said. "Humor much more than romance. IkariShipping stories are usually different. I'm sure we can find anoth—"

"No, no! No, no, that was all I needed to see," Dawn insisted, stepping back. "Glad to see that all of this world wants me with Paul."

"Well…that's not exactly true. There actually is one ship more popular than Ikari for you."

"Oh good, what's that?"

Ash noticed Tracey flicker an eye toward him and he had a feeling that whatever was coming next was not going to be good.

"PearlShipping. You and Ash."

"_What?_"

The exclamation came not only from Ash and Dawn, who were both looking at each other with something akin to utter repulsion, but also from Serena, who was now pursing her lips, and Misty and Brock, who were looking back and forth between Dawn and Ash with confused disgust.

"That's even worse than Paul," Dawn moaned.

"Hey!" Ash cried. "Take that back!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Ash, do you want to date me?"

"…Never mind. Don't take it back."

"Gladly."

Dawn turned to Tracey. "Tracey, I will gladly not read any of those. Ash is like a less stylish version of me and there's no reason why I would have any interest in even reading about that as a relationship."

"Okay, okay. Why don't we speed this up?" Tracey reached for a stack of papers on the desk, neatly stapled and organized. "I printed out some excerpts from everyone's stories that seem to exemplify the fandom. Um, Dawn, I suppose you can just skip the ones of you and Ash. Don't worry, there's plenty of other pairings for you."

"Oh, goodie," Dawn said sarcastically as she took her stack from Tracey. "Can't wait."

Everyone was just about to buckle down and read their personal packets when a loud sound suddenly came from the window that made up the entire south wall.

"You said the window was open, Meowth!"

"Well, da window was open. I just didn't tell ya about the blinds."

"Well, help get us out of here, you stupid cat!"

"Sorry, Jess; I'm just as tangled as you are."

Gary calmly walked over to the window where the blinds were moving wildly, kicking and shaking as though alive. He pulled up a chair and grabbed on to the bar at the top of window, gave it a wiggle, and down it tumbled. Three distinct cries came from inside the blinds as it clattered loudly to the floor, narrowly missing the heaps of equipment on that end of the room.

"Thanks, twerp, but we're still stuck!"

Meowth suddenly popped from out of the blinds, a look of massive success on his face. "Speak for yourself, Jess!"

Tracey by this point had stood up from the computer as well. "You guys said you'd be over in a bit over an hour ago. Why didn't you just come in through the door?"

"Yes, I wasn't last!" Ash exclaimed, throwing a victorious fist into the air.

"The bad guys always have to enter the back way," James said as he too untangled himself from the blinds.

"Oh, well it's good that you say that, because here." Tracey shoved a packet into James's hands. "That comment is very well-suited to your stories."

"What are you talking about, twerp?" Jessie growled as she finally managed to untangle herself, though a broken blind was still sticking out of her hair, unbeknownst to her.

"Don't worry, I'll catch you up. Here's yours."

"Tracey," Misty called. "Why did you invite Team Rocket to Oak's lab?"

"They were in the area and I thought they deserved to know as well."

"Of course they were in the area!" Misty exclaimed. "When have they not been in the same area as Ash?"

"Read your homework, twerpette," Jessie bit. "And explain yourself grass-head."

"Hey!" Drew cried, reaching to his hair self-consciously. "Oh, wait. It wasn't me for once."

"My hair's only tinted green," Tracey mumbled.

After that, the only sound in the room was Tracey explaining what had been covered so far to Jessie, James, and Meowth, and a lot of rustling papers. People were engrossed—and sometimes just grossed out—in what they were reading.

"Um, question," James said about the time everyone was finishing up with reading. (Well, except for Ash. He had the duel problem of being the slowest reader, and the one with the most reading.) "Why am I gay in all of these?"

"You're not gay in all of them," Tracey reasoned. "There's more in which you're with Jessie."

Jessie and James both frowned, before looking at each other and laughing. "I think I'd rather be gay!"

"Clearly people don't know what genderfluid is," Zoey piped up, flipping through her packet. "Or they just don't know how to write about it."

"Or agender," James added.

"Everyone's cis in all of these stories!" Zoey cried. "I mean, I'm glad that I'm a lesbian in, like, all of these, because yay diversity, but people are still just stereotyping me."

"It goes the other way too," Misty said, carefully setting her packet down upside down. "Everyone knows that my sister Violet is a lesbian. That was one of the biggest tabloid stories in years."

"Such a tragedy," Brock whispered to Ash, wiping away a tear.

"But my sisters are whores in all of these stories!" Misty continued. "Except for the ones where Daisy is with Tracey. Like, what?"

"What‽" Brock exclaimed, snatching Misty's packet from off the floor. "Let me see that!"

"No!" Misty snatched it back, her eyes wide with…fear? That's what it looked like to Ash.

"Here, Brock you can look at mine," Tracey said, carrying over his packet to Brock, trying not to look too smug. "I'm gay in a couple, but most of the time I'm with Daisy as a side-pairing in other stories."

"That's so unfair!" Brock moaned. "Here I am playing a matchmaker in all of mine and you get to date Daisy Waterflower?"

"Brock, chill. You're thirst is showing," Gary said, carefully giving Tracey's packet back to him.

"No, come on, listen to this," Brock argued, flipping over to a page in his packet. "_Leave It To Brocko _by _reppad98_. I have to get together, like, a million couples in this, including you and this chick named Leaf! I've never even heard of anyone named Leaf!"

"Neither have I, but there's a lot of me with her in mine too."

Both Brock and Gary turned to Tracey questioningly, but he just shrugged. "You shouldn't be so upset, Brock. You get a girl in that story."

"_What?_"

Suddenly Brock was glaring at everyone in the room, because everyone else had let out the same exclamation as he had, everyone sounding equally disbelieving.

"Why didn't you include that in this packet?" Brock asked desperately.

Tracey shrugged again. "It's a long story."

Brock ran up to Tracey, grabbing his shirt in his hands. "I gotta read the end of that story!"

"R-Read it online!" Tracey stuttered, beating Brock's hands away.

"Gotcha!"

Brock suddenly had dibs on the huge computer screen and everyone else sweat-dropped.

"Um," Ritchie began hesitantly, speaking up for the first time that day. "Why am I a murderous bad guy in this one? I've never done anything that would show that I wanted to kill Ash."

"Wait, what?" Ash asked dazedly, still trying to work his way through his textbook of a packet.

"What's that one?" Tracey asked. "_CODENAME: ASHURA _by Legacy?"

"Uh, yeah."

Tracey scratched his head under his ever-present headband. "Trying to be unique, I guess? That and it seems like a lot of people have a fondness for Team Rocket and don't like them always being the bad guys."

"Seems you do too, letting them burst into my grandpa's lab and all," Gary muttered under his breath as he looked back to the wreckage.

"But you're not always the bad guy! Did you see _Misty the Matchmaker_ and _I Do or I Don't_ by AngelicFairy?"

"I did," Ritchie said, flipping back to that one. "And, uh, who exactly is Melody?"

Misty instantly bristled, causing Ash to look over at her with confusion for only a moment before returning to his text.

"Melody is a girl that Ash, Misty, and I met in the Orange Islands. I guess you've never met."

"And so this author thought that we were a great pair?"

"Ship, and yeah. There's a whole genre of ships between people who have never met."

Ritchie nodded in understanding. "Well, I get it. She seems awesome in this. I'm kind of a wang, though…Can I read the ending of this one online too?"

Tracey sweat-dropped. "Yeah, well, uh…no. The sequel isn't finished and neither is _CODENAME: ASHURA_."

"What?" Misty suddenly burst out. "You mean some of these just aren't finished?"

"Yeah, well, writing is hard," Tracey reasoned. "Have you ever tried writing a book?"

Misty shook her head.

"They can be really hard to finish. Some take years. And, on this website, some are never finished. Like _CODENAME: ASHURA_. Although that one ended in a decent place, so it still isn't a bad read beginning to end."

"Oh great," Misty said sarcastically. "That's comforting."

"Tracey," May piped in, her voice again sounding high-pitched and strained. "Do you know how exactly these writers come to um, ship their ships?"

Drew smiled smugly. "Why do you ask, May?"

"Oh, no reason," May squeaked, her face turning red as a Charmeleon.

"I don't know, May," Tracey answered honestly. "I guess we can't know unless we know how these people know us at all."

"Oh, alright."

"Come on, May," Drew urged. "Maybe tell him why you wanted to know and he'll form a better answer for you."

"Shut up, Drew," May snapped, though it didn't have much feeling behind it.

Max went up to his sister and took her packet before she could even argue. "May, I think you're forgetting something." He took Drew's as well. "If both of you are featured in a story, you both are likely reading it."

And as Max held out both May and Drew's packets, it was abundantly clear that both had the exact same first page.

"_Madness_ by prettygirl17," Drew mused, plucking his packet back out of Max's hand. "Looks really interesting. I mean, I can't say that it's anything like my actual life, but it's a terribly interesting story."

"I just don't understand why a story about you would be the first one in my packet," May grumbled as she snatched her packet back from her brother.

"Yeah, maybe not the best choice for you, May, but I just thought that was a really good story," Tracey said. "Alas, that one isn't finished either. But I have hope that it will be some day."

"Great, then we'll be able to see why Drew's is crazy."

"My character isn't crazy," Drew said, mock-woundedly. "Clearly he's suffering from some kind of PTSD and possibly dissociative personality disorder. It's tragic. And yes, hopefully we'll find out the end some day and how you and I end up together."

Dawn looked up abruptly at May and Drew. "Wait, you mean that you guys are each other's main ship? Aw, that's so cute. I always liked you guys."

"That means that you ship them," Tracey interjected.

"Yes, exactly, I ship you guys," Dawn said excitedly. "You're lucky that Ash isn't your main ship."

Ash looked up from his still-unfinished packet. "Wait, what? Also, what's a, uh," he looked back to his packet for reference, "harem?"

"Just imagine that it's how you collect your Pokémon, but with girls," Gary explained.

Ash pondered that for a minute before his face twisted grotesquely. "Oh, I think I get it. I'm going to skip this one."

May looked from Ash back to Dawn. "No, Ash is my second main ship. Grass-head here is my first."

"Oh, yay!" Dawn cheered. "That's so romantic."

"Why?" May asked confusedly.

"Because you're such a cute couple, duh."

"Yeah, May, duh," Drew echoed with a smirk.

May blushed again. "Shut up, Drew."

Max and Drew share a knowing look with each other, smiling widely all the while.

"I'm done!"

Everyone turned to Ash, who was finally flipping over his last page, looking victorious.

"Skipping that one section was really helpful. Anyway," Ash turned to Serena, who hadn't said anything since the packets had been handed out. "Serena, why do you have a crush on me in all of the stories that you're in?"

Serena's face was suddenly bright red as she tried her best to hide her face behind her papers. Everyone was shocked to silence, looking between the two of them and feeling as though they were intruding on a private moment as Serena looked more and more embarrassed.

"I-I don't know," was all that she managed to squeak out after a long moment of deafening silence.

"It was hard to figure out in some of them, like this one _Girlfriends _by EmmyGWrites, which had even me confused there for a minute, but it seemed like a pattern after a while."

"Uh, what a funny coincidence," Serena said, forcing out a weak laugh.

"Yeah, it was in every one. It's called AmourShipping, isn't that funny? Because amour mean's love, doesn't it, Misty? I know you like that French stuff."

"Uh, yeah it does." Misty glanced over at Serena, who was all but slumped over her packet. "Ash, maybe you should lay off."

"Lay off what?"

"Some people aren't comfortable talking about those kinds of feelings in public," Misty hissed.

Ash tilted his head in confusion. "What do you mean? They're just stories. It doesn't matter."

"Actually, I'm not sure that's the case. Some of these stories are surprisingly telling of people's emotions. For instance, Daisy and I actually are dating."

Brock whipped around in the swivel chair, accidently going around twice before stopping facing Tracey. "What?"

"Yeah, what?" Misty added in disbelief.

"It's true. We were waiting to tell people, but there it is."

Misty pulled out her phone. "I'm going to text her."

"No!" Tracey exclaimed. "I mean, let me text her first…she might be mad I told you."

"Haha, you won't be winning for long!" Brock cried victoriously.

"My point being," Tracey said after nervously sending the text, "that some of these stories are surprisingly accurate."

"Okay!" Misty announced, grabbing Serena's wrist out of nowhere. "Serena and I need to have some girl talk. You guys keep talking about the Team Rocket ship because I want that to be in our arsenal as a weapon for later. Buh-bye!"

Misty dragged a very confused Serena out of the room just as she heard Tracey correcting her, "Actually, it's just RocketShipping!"

* * *

"Okay, here's the deal, Serena," Misty said once they made it to a more secluded room. Misty was just thanking her lucky stars that the Professor was out of town today; she didn't want anyone to eavesdrop on this conversation. "Like it or not, we are a part of Ash's uh, unconventional harem. Unconventional in that none of us are dating him, but we all like him a lot and he's oblivious."

"Wait," Serena interjected. "You like Ash?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's something you're going to take to your—let's hope not premature—grave. But right now we're not talking about my crush, we're talking about your crush, got it?"

Serena swallowed nervously at the dead-serious expression on Misty's face. "Got it."

"Despite what all of these stories say, just because you and I like the same boy doesn't mean that we have to be mortal enemies. So I'm going to help you out here with what I've learned in my many, many years of experience. First, as long as he doesn't know, it doesn't need to matter."

Serena ignored the fact that she had had a crush on Ash longer that Misty had even known Ash, but it didn't seem important enough to mention when it would probably make Misty angry.

"But it seems like he might know now," Serena said worriedly. "After that, fiasco, I mean."

"Which brings me to point number two," Misty said. "If he does know, it doesn't matter, because Ash famously treats everyone just about the same, whether he just met you or has known you for years. My point is, just feel what you feel and Ash will still be great to you. So don't worry."

"I guess that's true," Serena mused.

"Of course it's true."

"But didn't he treat you differently?"

"Me differently?" Misty asked, taken aback. "Why would you think that?"

"Because he talks about you differently," Serena reasoned. "He always talks about you like you're, I don't know, his favorite?"

"I'm sure that's not true," she said, effectively shutting down the conversation. "Now let's get back in there and enjoy everyone getting equally humiliated by people that we've never met."

Serena smiled in confusion. "Um, okay. Let's do it."

* * *

"Just because my favorite story is the one that I'm bi in doesn't mean that I'm bi!" Gary exclaimed. "It just means that I appreciate that the author believes that I'd be successful in getting both all the chicks and all the dudes."

"But you're dating Tracey in _Something in the Water_," Brock rebutted. "Are you calling Tracey a hot piece of ass?"

"Well, he must be if he managed to nail Daisy Waterflower!"

"Um, we haven't actually had sex yet; she isn't actually how all of these stories paint her."

"You're not even the main character in that story," Brock argued.

"You don't have to be the main character in the story to be the most interesting one. Also, aside from the gay thing, this story is absolutely accurate. Ashy-boy here would for sure mess up my love advice."

"I don't need any love advice!" Ash shouted indignantly.

"Psh, sure you don't, Ash," Gary scoffed.

Abruptly, all the boys hushed back up, as that was the moment when Misty and Serena walked back into the room.

"What the hell were you shouting about?" Misty asked.

"Uh, Pikachu was just jealous that he wasn't a well-rounded character in any of these stories."

Misty narrowed her eyes at Ash. "First of all, he was absolutely a main character in _Pokémon Master_ by Acey—which looked awesome, by the way—and secondly, Pikachu can't yell in English, Ash."

"Oh."

"So, I guess da twerpette is the only one that we haven't covered," Meowth said, filing his nails and looking smug as he winked at Misty. "What's your story, red?"

Everyone turned to Misty, who was determinedly standing strong. "Well, there's a few with me and Brock and a few with me and Gary—which is called EgoShipping, apparently, and I don't personally appreciate that—but most are of me and Ash."

"Heh, Ash just gets paired with everyone doesn't he," Brock said, trying to do his friend a favor and shift the room's focus.

"But most were with Misty," Ash said, picking up his huge packet. "Out of all of this there were a lot with her. There was one that I had powers in, which was really cool! That one was called, uh, _Phantom_ by PinkFalcon. Super cool! Did you see that one, Mist?"

Misty nodded. "Yes, I did."

Ash was flipping through the story, eyes wide as he drank it in. "It would be so cool if that one was real life."

"Uh, Ash, in that one you were banished from society with a psychopathic version of Gary wanting to kill you."

Gary shrugged. "Sorry, man."

"But I can wield electricity and speak the language of every Pokémon and you're a super awesome Battler—not that that one's different from reality—but whatever. It looks like an awesome story."

"Alas, also sadly unfinished," Tracey said. "But someone in this very room dies in that one, so maybe that's for the best."

"Aw man," Ash groaned. "I wanted to see how me and Misty ended up together."

Misty nearly choked on her own saliva. "W-What?"

"Well, I can't let Rudy win!"

"Ash," Brock put a hand calmingly on Ash's shoulder. "I think you're getting a little bit ahead of yourself.

"No I'm not," Ash calmly took Brock's hand off of his shoulder. "Guys, I have a theory. If Tracy is indeed right in saying that these authors know something that we don't about our feelings, then maybe we should steer into the skid. If they knew about Tracey and Daisy before Daisy's own sister did, then that speaks volumes to me."

"Ash, what are you say—" Serena began nervously.

"My next example is May and Drew. You guys were a subplot in about half of these stories about me. A lot of them mentioned those roses, which I now realize were for May and not Beautifly. If that's not clear as day, then I don't know what is. So go on and get together."

"Ash," May protested. "Getting together isn't exactly as simple as all—mmph!"

May was cut off by Drew giving her a little more than a meaningful peck. Not too much for present company to handle but enough to make a point.

"It can be that simple," Drew declared. "Now please be my girlfriend before I have to kill myself like in this story by, uh, UltimateContestShipperB2."

May looked at Drew endearingly. "Well, nobody would want that before the Grand Festival."

"Especially you?" Drew asked meaningfully.

"Especially me," May conceded.

"Gross," Max said as the new pair kissed again, a little more intensely than the first time.

"You're just jealous because you don't have a main ship," May teased.

Max frowned. "Yeah, that's kind of true."

"Okay, next on the agenda!" Ash declared. He had walked over to Dawn and was fingering through her packet. "Dawn, I'm going to respectfully ask you not to date me, and also suggest that you not date Paul. But it seems as though you have plenty of options here, including Zoey, so I'm just gonna say: go wherever the wind takes you.

"Similarly, Gary, your main ship seems to be with me, which I'm going to politely decline, so either you can try to find this, uh, Leaf," Ash looked around the room for any sign of recognition, but everyone's faces were as blank as his own. "Or look into—what was it?—CavalierShipping with you and Dawn here."

Gary and Dawn looked at each other, shrugging.

"Okay, we got a solid maybe there. Next: RocketShipping! James, if you're into guys, then go and find yourself a great guy. But if you guys have any interest in each other, despite the scathing comments said earlier, then maybe that's something to think about. And Meowth, no giving them a hard time. I'm sure there's another Meowzie in the world for you too. And Brocko…"

Ash then took Brock's packet, leafing through it with purpose until he found what he wanted. "Ah-hah! I knew it! Lucy! Brock she was the only girl who ever liked you—"

Brock put a wounded hand to his chest. "Not only did that hurt, but that's just not true!"

"Unless you want to see if Temacu still wants some action…"

Brock sweatdropped, thinking back to that crazy. "You know, I think I'll give Lucy a call."

Ash smiled. "Great!" Suddenly slower and more solemn then he had been a moment ago, Ash approached Serena, who was looking at him with bated breath. "Serena," Ash sighed. "I…know that you like me. But from what I can see, it looks more like an infatuation from when you were young…I'm not sure that it's me you like or the idealization of me."

Everyone who was still paying attention gaped at hearing Ash talk like he…knew about girls.

Noticing the eyes on him, he turned around. "Hey, I've grown up too! And hanging around with someone as smart as Clemont has really changed me. More than I can say for all of you!"

Everyone knew that he didn't mean it, but that didn't stop Max from piping up and saying, "Hey, I resent that!"

Ash abruptly turned to Max, a grin split on his face yet again. "Oh, Max, that's someone who you should hang out with! You and Clemont would be best friends! I'm not sure that you should date or anything but…"

"Uh, Ash?"

Ash trailed off and looked back at Serena, who was looking at him expectantly. "Oh, right. So, what I was going to say was, while I don't think that we should date, I'm going to suggest my good friend Ritchie to you."

"What‽" Ritchie stepped out from his spot behind everyone, gaping. "What story did you get that from?"

"Well, I'm not sure if any story has paired you guys together, but you seem to be described as very, very similar to me, so I figured why not?"

"Ash," Brock cut in, looking sympathetically to Serena, "that's not really the way that feelings work."

"I know that, Brock, but I think they'd be a good fit! Trust me!"

Ash turned to Serena, an earnest look on his face.

"I-I," Serena looked back and forth between Ash and Ritchie, not seeing any sort of resemblance. But she didn't know Ritchie at all and he had, in fact, not been in any of her stories, so she didn't even have a fictitious retelling of his personality. "I'd like to get over this crush," she said finally. "I'll give it a try."

"Great!" Ash exclaimed, looking over to Ritchie. "What do you say?"

Ritchie, seeming to have been caught extremely off-guard by the situation, gulped nervously before he could get any words out. "I mean, Serena's beautiful, but I…Oh, what the heck! Why not?"

Serena smiled good-naturedly, "I love my dates heading into things with a "what the heck" outlook."

Ritchie looked embarrassed. "That's not what I meant."

"She's joking with you, Ritchie," Ash informed his friend cheerfully. "This will work out great, I can tell."

Brock tapped Ash on the shoulder expectantly. "Last but not least, Ash?"

Ash whipped around. "What? Oh, right." Brock stepped aside and Misty was right in front of Ash, eyebrows raised expectantly. "Uh, Mist?" Ash started, approaching her slowly.

"Yeah, Ash?"

"Would you like to, I don't know, go out sometime?"

Misty smiled bigger than she would have ever thought possible. "I would love to, Ash."

"Oh good," Ash sighed, his shoulders slumping with relief. "Hey, maybe I'll get powers like in that story!"

Misty face-faulted. "I don't think that's how it works, Ash."

Ash smiled. "Darn. Guess I'm just stuck with you, then."

"You always have been."

They didn't kiss or anything. They just smiled at each other, a spot of calm in a room with papers strewn, broken blinds on the floor, people kissing, people talking, people meeting, and Pikachu still on the floor, trying for the life of him to read whatever the heck his packet said.

* * *

**A/N: **Whoa nilly, that was a long story. And this AN is gonna be just about as long, so buckle up.

First of all, longest oneshot ever for me, so that's exciting! 6.75K! Next, a few things to cover, I mentioned many sexualities in this; I'm not saying that I personally believe in these for the characters (though now that I've mentioned it, I do think that James is likely genderfluid, genderqueer, or just really likes drag). I just realized that I mostly write about straight, white, cis people and I intend to change that. I challenge every other writer doing this to do the same and include the whole spectrum of everything in your stories.

Also, not all the ships I mentioned were depicted how I truly prefer them. IkariShippers, don't hate me now; I don't love IkariShipping, but it also just didn't make sense with this story for Paul to be here, and it was much more humorous to make fun of him. But I've written IkariShipping before, I think, so don't be mad! Also, I know that Serena and Ritchie aren't a thing, but it just came to me and I love it! Let's make it a thing and a solution to the Pokeshipping vs. Amourshipping battle. (Not to say that I hate Amourshipping. If I weren't a Pokeshipper, I would love it.)

Next, some ill things were said about smut here. I don't personally have anything against smut-one of my good friends is an expert smut writer and I actually help edit it for her. I just imagine that our dear characters here wouldn't react to well to the notion. So I'm not shaming it. Sex should be celebrated, that's the only way to quit demonizing it.

Lastly, I said what I said about Leaf here, because Leaf doesn't exist in the same world as the Anime characters. She's the game character. Also, OldrivalShipping is Blue/Green, not Gary/Leaf. Sorrynotsorry.

Actual lastly, I'm sorry I haven't updated anything in a while. I've been putting a lot of effort into a multi-chap that I haven't begun to publish yet because I continually go back and change things as I write more. It won't be published until it's done or nearly done. But, if you want a summary of it, there's some info on my profile and I'd be happy to talk about it! Thanks for reading and if you read all of this note, then kudos to you! I just had some important things to say here.

**Stories Mentioned**

Oh, Paulie Pie by appositive (funny quasi-anti-IkariShipping oneshot)

Leave it to Brocko by reppad98 (long Pokeshipping story w/multiple pairings. Some very, very funny moments. Complete)

CODENAME: ASHURA by Legacy (dark, long multi-chap. Unfinished but ends in a satisfying place. Not written quite as well as I remember, but unique story.)

Misty the Matchmaker by AngelicFairy (great complete multi-chap Pokeshipping story. Multiple side ships)

I Do or I Don't by AngelicFairy (sequel to Matchmaker. Also great, but incomplete)

Madness by prettygirl17 (amazing psycho-drama story. Unfinished but incredible. Contest and Poke)

Something in the Water by Virgo Writer (perfect Poke oneshot)

Pokemon Master by Acey (famous old dark Poke story. So long. Incomplete on this site; use google for the last chapter)

Phantom by PinkFalcon (probably my favorite story ever, but incomplete. Poke, based on Phantom of the Opera. Incredible.)

No disrespect intended to these stories or the authors. Only the upmost respect.


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